The first thing I remember is that I am sitting in some classroom and struggling to learn something. Bhanukiran walks upto me and says, "Dude, it's quite late, it's night time. And you're sitting in the dark staring at something I can't clearly make out what! Is something troubling you?
I stared at that thing again and then replied, "Nothing".
The truth was that I was nervous. And something was troubling me. I was in a situation that I wanted to do something but didn't have the courage to withstand the wrong consequences.
Our college was one of the colleges selected for some martial arts fighting competition and it was to be a 'team fight'. As far as I can recall six members were there. One of them was Gaurav, not sure if Atul was also a part of the team. We had a teacher who was an expert and we had evening sessions for a couple of months.
Evening sessions were cool. I learned some nice stunts/tactics about self defence but the idea of taking a punch or kick in the face is what was making me nervous. Luckily during evening sessions, nothing of that sort happened!
After the two months of training, we were trained in weapon fight. We started with a Bo. It reminded me of Donaltello of TMNT cartoon series. I eagerly learned each and every move with that Bo, but getting a stick in my face added to the list of my fears! :(
Our first match was against some local college which we won convincingly. We traveled in a bus to that college and returned late at night. The task was simple, make all the opponents fall on the ground. I tried to use the Bo as Master Splinter of TMNT and it worked in a few cases because the other team was also smart. I was the first one to fall to the ground from my team but I made 2 people fall before falling. I was happy and thrilled never the less because it was my first experience in a combat and my face was not hurt!
There was a machine which had crawled the whole web, indexed every information available on the web and had made a graph of the hyperlinked structure of web. Our college had built that machine and had given it to students to test run it and tell the bugs and limitations. Me and my team were the only ones left to test it.
The machine had a large bluish screen with a complex graph structure on it. The machine could sense if a person nearby is there to use that machine or to do something else. As we went close to it, a digitalized female voice started speaking and giving instructions. It was simple to use and felt like a person was standing on the other side of the machine and teaching us how to use it. My friends gave a lot of queries and were impressed by it's accuracy in fetching just the relevant documents. It seemed like high level of AI and sensors were used. I gave the name of my old friend as a query since I wanted to find out where she was or what she was doing and I had googled her earlier but it couldn't find any result.
I was again disappointed when this machine displayed at the screen that no result could be found and apologized (which was amusing because the female voice also announced it as "No results found, sorry")
Next week we had a match against a local college in Madras (now called Chennai). Looking at our good performance in the last match, our teacher decided to teach us the use of Katana Blades (or sword). He gave each one of us a sword and asked us to become comfortable with it. I felt it heavier than the Bo and also didn't have much degree of freedom in holding the sword. I lifted it and brought it closer to my face, it's pointed blade pointing to the roof of our practice room ( a wooden room with thatched roof). I looked at the shine of the blade and saw my face in it. My fears were confirmed now... I now feared a long scar on my delicate face! :(
As I got into the bus for leaving to Madras, all I knew was that I was nervous and also had to be very careful... I recalled the conversation I had with Bhanukiran last night and now all I wanted was my face to be safe.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Sunday, January 13, 2008
14th Jan 2008, Early Morning.
I slept early yesterday, at 11 pm. Does this affect the kind of dreams I get? I guess not!
The first thing I remember is that I and my girlfriend are alone in my house (I don't have a girlfriend, though!) and we are together in the attic. The attic has wooden floor and is quite spacious and also big enough for a person to walk erect. I saw all this from a third person view. Even though I couldn't see either of the person's face clearly, I know the guy was me. There was only a bulb throwing yellow light to light the attic and it was hanging in the center of the roof of the attic.
We did some things (I don't remember much. We ate fruits and other things, we read something... can't recall what we did.) and frequently kissed each other then I saw us naked and having sex and then suddenly I saw us dressed again and with her lying on me and smiling at me while we looked into each other's eyes. All of a sudden, the doorbell rang. As a third person view from the attic I saw my parents enter the house and I and my girlfriend greeted them.
My father told me that there's going to be a festival in some place in India (I guess it was Kerala, because what I saw later, most of it looked like the temples and palaces of Kerala since I have lately visited Kerala). This festival is quite famous and also has an event of boxing in it. I thought in my mind, "so what?" but then my father interrupted my future thoughts by telling me that I was good at boxing and so I should participate in it. Now that is news, I thought, but never mind, I'll see a few games then try to do what other participants would be doing. Then I imagined myself standing fully dressed for boxing, with gloves on my hands and wearing a red hood on my head and looking at an ongoing match, trying to learn their moves.
I saw myself in Kerala (my imagination tells me that it was Kerala and this time, I have first person view.) with my parents. We went to a temple to seek blessings for me, I really needed blessings! When inside the temple, I looked around. It was dawn and sun was yet to show it's presence and come up in sky, and people were out of their homes and visiting temples and doing other activities. It surprised me but I was impressed. Hardly a few people, and I think they were the ones responsible for maintaining and looking after this temple, were inside the temple. When I saw the idols of the deities right in front of me, I didn't remove my shoes (I was well aware of the fact that I should be removing my shoes, but didn't worry much about it) and just went in. I didn't go too close to the idols (they were small idols, 5-6 of them and were kept on the two adjacent walls) and joined hands from a distance and prayed to them. As I walked back towards the exit of the temple, I felt that wearing shoes and praying wasn't the right thing to do. So I again went back, this time after removing my shoes and again prayed to them, this time went a little closer, and asked for forgiveness.
My parents and I then went to some place, where a lot of people had gathered, either it was a palace or a place of similar historic importance. I was impressed by the architecture and the design of the place. Suddenly I saw a snake outside, at the entrance of that place. It was big, orange in color and it was FLOATING IN THE AIR. It saw me and I shrieked. Everyone turned and stared at me. They turned and saw in the direction I was looking at and started laughing. They said these snakes often come to this place during this festival season. Snakes are sacred animals to people of that place. In a few minutes, I saw a few more outside the place but none were as big as the first snake (the orange one) I saw. One of them suddenly flew past us, at amazingly high speed and I again shrieked. Everyone laughed again, including my parents.
My parents asked me not to worry. The snakes are good. You are a good boy, you do nothing wrong so you have nothing to fear. In fact, we should join hands and greet them and pray to them. They started to leave and I thought that they might be right. So, I turned to the other side and saw that orange snake suddenly moving inside the palace and came quite close to me by slowly floating in air. It's vision was completely fixed at me, and it moved it's forked tongue inside and outside. I never saw a snake so close before in my life ! The orange snake then slowly went back to the entrance.
I was not convinced. They looked ferocious and scared the hell out of me. "you do nothing wrong so you have nothing to fear", this statement of my father popped into my mind and I remembered wearing shoes inside the temple. I did something wrong and so these snakes were here to punish me. They are sacred snakes and it's confirmed. Now I had a reason to fear. I asked my parents that we should quickly leave this place and go somewhere else but didn't tell them why.
I wanted to go back to the rest house but my father had other plans. He wanted us to see yet another place (a museum or a palace I can't recall) and so we went there. I saw the same kind of architecture there and instead of feeling happy and impressed, I started feeling scared again. There were a few people there. I looked at the entrance and yet again saw the same orange snake. My fears were confirmed that I had made God angry and he has sent these serpents to punish me. These serpents are looking for a moment when I'd be alone and then they would punish me. I decide to stay with other people.
We reached the common room in that palace, which was the place where women prepared food, spices, butter etc. It was like a big courtyard. It had roof but sun rays were also allowed in. I saw a streak of sun rays coming into the courtyard. I looked at the time, 10 o'clock. I looked below at the floor and saw the sun rays striking the stone floor and illuminating it. Suddenly I saw a couple of snakes moving across my feet. I wanted to jump and run from there, but out of extreme fear and also fear of hurting those 'sacred' snakes, I didn't move, but I was shaking within, while standing there. I wouldn't have shouted, but for a snake who came and sat on my neck. It was heavy...
I felt numb and I stopped shaking so that the snake on my neck is not troubled. I didn't want to make any mistake now, after what I'd done in that temple. I wanted to oblige these snakes so that my punishment be lessened. Something happened to me and I tried to rub the snake off my neck and back. The snake was heavy and also stuck to me as if it was a lizard. I had never touched a snake and when I tried to gently rub it off me, I touched it. It had both sticky and slimy kind of skin, and moist as well. The snake slowly moved a little and towards my face, and I could feel it's movement on me. I could see it's forked tongue moving out and vibrating, its' eyes waiting to look at my face and ... I lifted the snake off my back and left it in the air. The snake, not expecting that I'd do so, fell on the ground, rather than floating, as I expected it to do.
The snake immediately rose into the air, in fury and I realized that I was a dead man. I started begging for mercy and said, "please, please forgive me. Please don't punish me. I won't wear shoes into any temple again. It was a mistake, please!"
I felt that the snake was rather amused at what I said. He asked me to look into his face and into his eyes. HE WAS TALKING TO ME, IN HINDI. I could have collapsed but my fear prevented me to do so. I closed my eyes and again started begging for mercy and started chanting prayers and hymns randomly and quickly. He said, "be quiet and look into my eyes and into my face, we are here for something important. The idea of sacred snakes is a myth. If you don't want to be a tagged person, look at me and into my eyes. I'd free you if that is what you want."
I opened my eyes, saw that green snake floating in front of me and a little further away, I saw the same orange snake I'd seen earlier, the same morning. He left me what no other option. I looked at him, and into his eyes. This time, he didn't move his tongue, so that I could concentrate better. He floated in air, his body moving but his head fixed, and we stared at each other for a few seconds. He moved a little back (all this time it was floating in the air and floated a little back) and said, "Sorry sir, I didn't know it was you." and suddenly I saw what he was thinking. I saw a man wearing horn-rimmed glasses and working in his laboratory which was floating in outer space.
The first thing I remember is that I and my girlfriend are alone in my house (I don't have a girlfriend, though!) and we are together in the attic. The attic has wooden floor and is quite spacious and also big enough for a person to walk erect. I saw all this from a third person view. Even though I couldn't see either of the person's face clearly, I know the guy was me. There was only a bulb throwing yellow light to light the attic and it was hanging in the center of the roof of the attic.
We did some things (I don't remember much. We ate fruits and other things, we read something... can't recall what we did.) and frequently kissed each other then I saw us naked and having sex and then suddenly I saw us dressed again and with her lying on me and smiling at me while we looked into each other's eyes. All of a sudden, the doorbell rang. As a third person view from the attic I saw my parents enter the house and I and my girlfriend greeted them.
My father told me that there's going to be a festival in some place in India (I guess it was Kerala, because what I saw later, most of it looked like the temples and palaces of Kerala since I have lately visited Kerala). This festival is quite famous and also has an event of boxing in it. I thought in my mind, "so what?" but then my father interrupted my future thoughts by telling me that I was good at boxing and so I should participate in it. Now that is news, I thought, but never mind, I'll see a few games then try to do what other participants would be doing. Then I imagined myself standing fully dressed for boxing, with gloves on my hands and wearing a red hood on my head and looking at an ongoing match, trying to learn their moves.
I saw myself in Kerala (my imagination tells me that it was Kerala and this time, I have first person view.) with my parents. We went to a temple to seek blessings for me, I really needed blessings! When inside the temple, I looked around. It was dawn and sun was yet to show it's presence and come up in sky, and people were out of their homes and visiting temples and doing other activities. It surprised me but I was impressed. Hardly a few people, and I think they were the ones responsible for maintaining and looking after this temple, were inside the temple. When I saw the idols of the deities right in front of me, I didn't remove my shoes (I was well aware of the fact that I should be removing my shoes, but didn't worry much about it) and just went in. I didn't go too close to the idols (they were small idols, 5-6 of them and were kept on the two adjacent walls) and joined hands from a distance and prayed to them. As I walked back towards the exit of the temple, I felt that wearing shoes and praying wasn't the right thing to do. So I again went back, this time after removing my shoes and again prayed to them, this time went a little closer, and asked for forgiveness.
My parents and I then went to some place, where a lot of people had gathered, either it was a palace or a place of similar historic importance. I was impressed by the architecture and the design of the place. Suddenly I saw a snake outside, at the entrance of that place. It was big, orange in color and it was FLOATING IN THE AIR. It saw me and I shrieked. Everyone turned and stared at me. They turned and saw in the direction I was looking at and started laughing. They said these snakes often come to this place during this festival season. Snakes are sacred animals to people of that place. In a few minutes, I saw a few more outside the place but none were as big as the first snake (the orange one) I saw. One of them suddenly flew past us, at amazingly high speed and I again shrieked. Everyone laughed again, including my parents.
My parents asked me not to worry. The snakes are good. You are a good boy, you do nothing wrong so you have nothing to fear. In fact, we should join hands and greet them and pray to them. They started to leave and I thought that they might be right. So, I turned to the other side and saw that orange snake suddenly moving inside the palace and came quite close to me by slowly floating in air. It's vision was completely fixed at me, and it moved it's forked tongue inside and outside. I never saw a snake so close before in my life ! The orange snake then slowly went back to the entrance.
I was not convinced. They looked ferocious and scared the hell out of me. "you do nothing wrong so you have nothing to fear", this statement of my father popped into my mind and I remembered wearing shoes inside the temple. I did something wrong and so these snakes were here to punish me. They are sacred snakes and it's confirmed. Now I had a reason to fear. I asked my parents that we should quickly leave this place and go somewhere else but didn't tell them why.
I wanted to go back to the rest house but my father had other plans. He wanted us to see yet another place (a museum or a palace I can't recall) and so we went there. I saw the same kind of architecture there and instead of feeling happy and impressed, I started feeling scared again. There were a few people there. I looked at the entrance and yet again saw the same orange snake. My fears were confirmed that I had made God angry and he has sent these serpents to punish me. These serpents are looking for a moment when I'd be alone and then they would punish me. I decide to stay with other people.
We reached the common room in that palace, which was the place where women prepared food, spices, butter etc. It was like a big courtyard. It had roof but sun rays were also allowed in. I saw a streak of sun rays coming into the courtyard. I looked at the time, 10 o'clock. I looked below at the floor and saw the sun rays striking the stone floor and illuminating it. Suddenly I saw a couple of snakes moving across my feet. I wanted to jump and run from there, but out of extreme fear and also fear of hurting those 'sacred' snakes, I didn't move, but I was shaking within, while standing there. I wouldn't have shouted, but for a snake who came and sat on my neck. It was heavy...
I felt numb and I stopped shaking so that the snake on my neck is not troubled. I didn't want to make any mistake now, after what I'd done in that temple. I wanted to oblige these snakes so that my punishment be lessened. Something happened to me and I tried to rub the snake off my neck and back. The snake was heavy and also stuck to me as if it was a lizard. I had never touched a snake and when I tried to gently rub it off me, I touched it. It had both sticky and slimy kind of skin, and moist as well. The snake slowly moved a little and towards my face, and I could feel it's movement on me. I could see it's forked tongue moving out and vibrating, its' eyes waiting to look at my face and ... I lifted the snake off my back and left it in the air. The snake, not expecting that I'd do so, fell on the ground, rather than floating, as I expected it to do.
The snake immediately rose into the air, in fury and I realized that I was a dead man. I started begging for mercy and said, "please, please forgive me. Please don't punish me. I won't wear shoes into any temple again. It was a mistake, please!"
I felt that the snake was rather amused at what I said. He asked me to look into his face and into his eyes. HE WAS TALKING TO ME, IN HINDI. I could have collapsed but my fear prevented me to do so. I closed my eyes and again started begging for mercy and started chanting prayers and hymns randomly and quickly. He said, "be quiet and look into my eyes and into my face, we are here for something important. The idea of sacred snakes is a myth. If you don't want to be a tagged person, look at me and into my eyes. I'd free you if that is what you want."
I opened my eyes, saw that green snake floating in front of me and a little further away, I saw the same orange snake I'd seen earlier, the same morning. He left me what no other option. I looked at him, and into his eyes. This time, he didn't move his tongue, so that I could concentrate better. He floated in air, his body moving but his head fixed, and we stared at each other for a few seconds. He moved a little back (all this time it was floating in the air and floated a little back) and said, "Sorry sir, I didn't know it was you." and suddenly I saw what he was thinking. I saw a man wearing horn-rimmed glasses and working in his laboratory which was floating in outer space.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
6thOct, 2007 Morning
I was sitting with one of my friends in his flat in Mumbai. We both were slouched in a comfortable position and chatting, watching something on T.V. I looked at him and suddenly realized that he was one of the superstars of the film industry. It came as a surprise but I didn't feel any surprise.
Suddenly he switched off the T.V. and remided me of his latest film being premiered that evening and that I should be there with him at the premiere/showcase. Once again I didn't show any surprise/emotion at being invited at a premiere of a film. As a matter of fact, that friend of mine looked and talked like Shahrukh Khan and the film to be premiered looked and sounded like 'Om Shanti Om'. At the premiere party, with a glass of drink in my hand, I looked at my friend and he looked so happy! I had discovered that something bad would happen to him. Perhaps his girlfriend was planning to breakup with him, but I don't know how I came to know that. I was feeling helpless as I couldn't tell him, nor help him in any way.
I saw me and two of my friends trying to run away in a car with my friend driving and the other friend and I sitting at the back. I said that I was afraid to the friend sitting beside me and she hugged me and said that everything is gonna be ok. We drove on a thin road surrounded by marshes on both sides. The situation was that we had to reach somewhere at sometime and we were late. Also, I was the person who'd be playing the major role in something. But at present I can't recall what it was because I overslept !
Two of my friends and I attended some classes on logic, which included the real significance of symbols like '<', '>', '>=', '<=' etc. The teacher taught really well. Apart from that he taught other things that could really help us understand the functioning of human brain. The teacher did teach in school but we wanted to privately learn from him. It was her (one of the two friends) idea, not mine. It was a surprise to see that a teacher teaching in a good school lived in a marshy area. A few days later when We went to his house, we found his son (who looked like one of my seniors) collecting things from the cupboard and stuffing them in a bag. The teacher wasn't there. His son told us that his father won't be coming back.
I received a lot of sweets and toffees and all my favorite ones and I really loved the idea of having so many sweets to eat. One of my father's friend had come to meet me and he told me that my sister was not doing well in her studies and that she'd got bad grades not only at school level but they were very bad even at national and international level. He had brought me some more sweets, chocolates toffees. I thanked him for coming. I thought of calling home but decided to do so the next day. In the next scene, I saw my sister and I offered her the sweets. she declined saying that the sweets were for me. I asked her why she got bad grades and she said that did study for the exams. My father interrupted saying that she played games like quake 3 more than studying. She shud have devoted more time towards her studies. My sister shouted that she didn't. My father switched to a softer tone, saying that it's good to play video games but one should balance his/her schedule in a way that includes everything necessary for work and enjoyment in desirable amount. I agreed, saying that had I played anything/something, I'd have been a better driver. My sister said that I was a better driver than I thought I was, and shut the door on us.
My mother saw so many sweets, toffees with me and looked worried. I reassured her that I'd brush my teeth before and after sleep. Although she wasn't convinced, she smiled and agreed. When I had a handful of those toffees, I understood why she was worried. My right side molar teeth had started bleeding and was getting worse than what it previously was. I had to make a choice... those sweets, toffees or my teeth. I imagined the pain of dental operations/surgeries, the cold atmosphere of the AC, the bluish white light of the tubelights along with the light of the dentist's chair shining over me, and compared them to the taste of those sweets/toffees. I chose those toffees/sweets over my teeth and decided to have the rest of the sweets with my left side teeth.
Then I saw myself standing/waiting with the two of my friends for some event, either a marriage or some feast... and we'd done some makeup to look older and one of my friends (who had consoled me while we were sitting in the car) had done heavy makeup so that no one could recognize her.
Suddenly he switched off the T.V. and remided me of his latest film being premiered that evening and that I should be there with him at the premiere/showcase. Once again I didn't show any surprise/emotion at being invited at a premiere of a film. As a matter of fact, that friend of mine looked and talked like Shahrukh Khan and the film to be premiered looked and sounded like 'Om Shanti Om'. At the premiere party, with a glass of drink in my hand, I looked at my friend and he looked so happy! I had discovered that something bad would happen to him. Perhaps his girlfriend was planning to breakup with him, but I don't know how I came to know that. I was feeling helpless as I couldn't tell him, nor help him in any way.
I saw me and two of my friends trying to run away in a car with my friend driving and the other friend and I sitting at the back. I said that I was afraid to the friend sitting beside me and she hugged me and said that everything is gonna be ok. We drove on a thin road surrounded by marshes on both sides. The situation was that we had to reach somewhere at sometime and we were late. Also, I was the person who'd be playing the major role in something. But at present I can't recall what it was because I overslept !
Two of my friends and I attended some classes on logic, which included the real significance of symbols like '<', '>', '>=', '<=' etc. The teacher taught really well. Apart from that he taught other things that could really help us understand the functioning of human brain. The teacher did teach in school but we wanted to privately learn from him. It was her (one of the two friends) idea, not mine. It was a surprise to see that a teacher teaching in a good school lived in a marshy area. A few days later when We went to his house, we found his son (who looked like one of my seniors) collecting things from the cupboard and stuffing them in a bag. The teacher wasn't there. His son told us that his father won't be coming back.
I received a lot of sweets and toffees and all my favorite ones and I really loved the idea of having so many sweets to eat. One of my father's friend had come to meet me and he told me that my sister was not doing well in her studies and that she'd got bad grades not only at school level but they were very bad even at national and international level. He had brought me some more sweets, chocolates toffees. I thanked him for coming. I thought of calling home but decided to do so the next day. In the next scene, I saw my sister and I offered her the sweets. she declined saying that the sweets were for me. I asked her why she got bad grades and she said that did study for the exams. My father interrupted saying that she played games like quake 3 more than studying. She shud have devoted more time towards her studies. My sister shouted that she didn't. My father switched to a softer tone, saying that it's good to play video games but one should balance his/her schedule in a way that includes everything necessary for work and enjoyment in desirable amount. I agreed, saying that had I played anything/something, I'd have been a better driver. My sister said that I was a better driver than I thought I was, and shut the door on us.
My mother saw so many sweets, toffees with me and looked worried. I reassured her that I'd brush my teeth before and after sleep. Although she wasn't convinced, she smiled and agreed. When I had a handful of those toffees, I understood why she was worried. My right side molar teeth had started bleeding and was getting worse than what it previously was. I had to make a choice... those sweets, toffees or my teeth. I imagined the pain of dental operations/surgeries, the cold atmosphere of the AC, the bluish white light of the tubelights along with the light of the dentist's chair shining over me, and compared them to the taste of those sweets/toffees. I chose those toffees/sweets over my teeth and decided to have the rest of the sweets with my left side teeth.
Then I saw myself standing/waiting with the two of my friends for some event, either a marriage or some feast... and we'd done some makeup to look older and one of my friends (who had consoled me while we were sitting in the car) had done heavy makeup so that no one could recognize her.
Monday, October 1, 2007
2ndOct.2007, Early Morning
I was sitting in my class, trying to concentrate, and understand what the professor was teaching. Someone nudged me from behind. I turned and saw one of my batchmates wanted to ask me about something she'd written in her notebook. I told her that it could be discussed after the class and that I was trying to concentrate and understand the topic professor was teaching. After the class, we stood at the edge of the corridor in front of the class, facing the ground below and sky above (our class was on the first floor, in the same room which was the library of my school, APS Dhrangadhra when I was in 9th class), discussing some course topic she was facing trouble with. Many of my batchmates were hooting, shouting and chatting loudly that I couldn't concentrate though I could barely hear the noise! She asked me if I could tell answer her query.
ALARM WENT OFF !!!
I shut the alarm of my mobile, saw the time, 7 o'clock, and decided that it was too early to wake up since today was a holiday, so I slept again.
I saw myself travelling to a lot of places, like a tourist, a lone one though. I visited temples, walked on city streets like 'fashion street', even school functions like sports day/annual function (I saw myself attending my school's sports day!) and at night would return to my room. I also remember travelling by train, sitting alone at the window seat. I visited a temple which was a little below the ground level and when I saw the temple from the main entrance, I could see the whole temple and it looked majestic and splendid, artistic creation. It reminded me of the Shiv temple in Ellora Caves. But this temple was also huge in size and spread over large area.
I realized something during all these days of traveling that I never felt alone during daytime when I was travelling but at night when I returned to my room, I felt lonely. The dim faded yellow light of my room made me feel more lonely.
When I went back home in Pune, I saw everyone in a jolly, festive mood. The house was getting decorated for something (diwali, probably). I saw my father dressed in a suit, adjusting his tie in front of the mirror of the dressing table. I saw my mother dressed in a beautiful saree and my sister wearing some nice dress. My father asked me to pick up one of the boxes of sweets kept in fridge while leaving for someone's place. We went to some place and I saw my father's colleagues and my mother's friends and my sister's friends... everyone was there. My father very fondly was giving sweets to everyone. It was strange that I seem to know no one. Everyone was a stranger to me out there and I somehow didn't feel comfortable there. Amongst the talks between my father and the other officers, one of the officers said something (not directed to me) and I heard it while not directly being a part of the conversation but standing some distance apart. It made me feel the regret and guilt that I was never an achiever in my school days and things hadn't changed till now. I recalled that I never had/have the skills to organize events or people and get your work done by others, work that is important and for which the organizer
is responsible. I could never handle responsibilities and that man forced me to recall this painful truth about myself. I felt more uncomfortable and as I saw other kids in that room, full of vibrant energy and enthusiasm and felt that these kids would do anything better than me.
Suddenly, I saw myself standing on a road and saw a car/truck on fire. Two men were fighting in front of the car/truck on fire. It took me no time to recall that the two men were present in the party that night. I could only watch them and do nothing about it. They hit each other very badly. The elder man dominated the fight and in one final blow, knocked the younger man (he was wearing spectacles and a cloth mask on his eyes which he took off before falling) to the road. Perhaps he died.
When I started to run for help, the whole scene around me changed and I saw myself standing on a calm road, with a few two wheelers moving on both sides of the road. The two men had vanished, so had the burning car. I asked a rickshaw puller if he had seen something of that sort and he said that he had been standing on that road since early morning that day. He said such things never happened and that I must be hallucinating/dreaming. He asked me if I needed a
ride. I said if he could leave me till the central railway station.
The rickshaw puller on our way told me that companies don't reveal their secrets of how they work, their strategies, their plans. Everything is a black box which a user can use. The black box may be free or it may cost something. (I was surprised at the amount of information that rickshaw puller had!) He said that one of the companies actually receives it's visitors at the airport and takes them in a black car, with black windows and the visitor can't see the
route by which he/she is taken to that company. (He said that such was the idea of Larry Page and Sergey Brin, but of course it was my brain churning strange thoughts! :D )
I reached the central station and looked at it from outside for a few seconds. This was the last I saw before I woke up.
ALARM WENT OFF !!!
I shut the alarm of my mobile, saw the time, 7 o'clock, and decided that it was too early to wake up since today was a holiday, so I slept again.
I saw myself travelling to a lot of places, like a tourist, a lone one though. I visited temples, walked on city streets like 'fashion street', even school functions like sports day/annual function (I saw myself attending my school's sports day!) and at night would return to my room. I also remember travelling by train, sitting alone at the window seat. I visited a temple which was a little below the ground level and when I saw the temple from the main entrance, I could see the whole temple and it looked majestic and splendid, artistic creation. It reminded me of the Shiv temple in Ellora Caves. But this temple was also huge in size and spread over large area.
I realized something during all these days of traveling that I never felt alone during daytime when I was travelling but at night when I returned to my room, I felt lonely. The dim faded yellow light of my room made me feel more lonely.
When I went back home in Pune, I saw everyone in a jolly, festive mood. The house was getting decorated for something (diwali, probably). I saw my father dressed in a suit, adjusting his tie in front of the mirror of the dressing table. I saw my mother dressed in a beautiful saree and my sister wearing some nice dress. My father asked me to pick up one of the boxes of sweets kept in fridge while leaving for someone's place. We went to some place and I saw my father's colleagues and my mother's friends and my sister's friends... everyone was there. My father very fondly was giving sweets to everyone. It was strange that I seem to know no one. Everyone was a stranger to me out there and I somehow didn't feel comfortable there. Amongst the talks between my father and the other officers, one of the officers said something (not directed to me) and I heard it while not directly being a part of the conversation but standing some distance apart. It made me feel the regret and guilt that I was never an achiever in my school days and things hadn't changed till now. I recalled that I never had/have the skills to organize events or people and get your work done by others, work that is important and for which the organizer
is responsible. I could never handle responsibilities and that man forced me to recall this painful truth about myself. I felt more uncomfortable and as I saw other kids in that room, full of vibrant energy and enthusiasm and felt that these kids would do anything better than me.
Suddenly, I saw myself standing on a road and saw a car/truck on fire. Two men were fighting in front of the car/truck on fire. It took me no time to recall that the two men were present in the party that night. I could only watch them and do nothing about it. They hit each other very badly. The elder man dominated the fight and in one final blow, knocked the younger man (he was wearing spectacles and a cloth mask on his eyes which he took off before falling) to the road. Perhaps he died.
When I started to run for help, the whole scene around me changed and I saw myself standing on a calm road, with a few two wheelers moving on both sides of the road. The two men had vanished, so had the burning car. I asked a rickshaw puller if he had seen something of that sort and he said that he had been standing on that road since early morning that day. He said such things never happened and that I must be hallucinating/dreaming. He asked me if I needed a
ride. I said if he could leave me till the central railway station.
The rickshaw puller on our way told me that companies don't reveal their secrets of how they work, their strategies, their plans. Everything is a black box which a user can use. The black box may be free or it may cost something. (I was surprised at the amount of information that rickshaw puller had!) He said that one of the companies actually receives it's visitors at the airport and takes them in a black car, with black windows and the visitor can't see the
route by which he/she is taken to that company. (He said that such was the idea of Larry Page and Sergey Brin, but of course it was my brain churning strange thoughts! :D )
I reached the central station and looked at it from outside for a few seconds. This was the last I saw before I woke up.
1stOctober2007_Early_Morning.
This time, once again I overslept, in the hope to continue the dream I was watching when I was woken up by the alarm of my table clock, but all in vain.
I saw myself reading some wierd kind of books, not as wierd as reading about 'palmistry' or 'tarot card reading' or 'black magic' but something similar. I was reading stories, short stories of the incidents which were the result of some supernatural elements. Incidently, all were not stories as such, and looked real as when some of such stories were opened in the book, they turned into some kind of 3d videos and I could actually live the incidents. Though living/witnessing those incidents/stories was not a pleasant experience, it wasn't frightening either. It was more amusement and humor at times.
In one of these stories, which turned into a video as I opened the page for that story, I saw 'Owen Wilson' (not kidding) leaving his bunglow, crossing the road and walking towards a small broken wall. He climbed the wall which was covered with wires and barbed wires in the shape of a spiral, took an electric wire (high voltage), wrapped it around his neck, and started the flow of current. I saw him electrocuting himself with large size full moon shining brightly at the backdrop. It was not scary, it was rather mystifying.
In another of such stories (rather videos) I saw myself standing in some building, perhaps the terrace and saw a man, terrified as one could be, white faced, red eyed, fear covering his severely wrinkled face, was running from something or someone, perhaps his death. He looked here and there, and moved rather slowly when he reached almost the end of terrace.
None of the stories had the creatures like vampires/werewolfs but they were as wierd as the one I just told.
As I progressed in my reading of these stories, they became more live and personal, and I could feel myself standing and watching the events happening in front of my eyes. They gradually turned into a 3d movie watching experience from a mere reading and visualizing/imagining experience. I would sit for long hours in library when I didn't have classes and read books on these stories at a stretch. I had no idea why I chose a particular book or why I was reading such books. It was a kind of sudden interest that propelled this new desire of mine.
In the next scene, I met my mother in a big temple. I say big because it was 'BIG'. It had huge domes, large area, with smaller temples scattered all over the place and though I don't remember going for darshan to any of those temples, I do remember standing beside my mother, while she collected prashad and the first thing she asked me was if I had completed reading those books. I nodded in affirmation as if it was she who told me to read those books and I didn't show any sign of surprise.
She asked me to collect prashad. I took a plate like everyone and joined the queue. Most of the people in queue were dressed in traditional Indian dress, i.e., girls/women wore saree, and boys wore a dhoti and a cloth covering their upper body. The pundits offering prayers to God and their presence were confined to the interiors of the temples. The sweet(prashad) sellers wore dhoti and a cloth covering their upper body, just like the boys. The only exception was that no man (adult male) was present to offer his prayers in that/those temple(s). Hence I wasn't an adult but a school boy in this dream ! :)
My mother had come to the temple with some of her friends.
My prashad plate (thaali) was filled by different prashads as I progressed in the queue and visited different prashads counter (donno the hindi word!), including a large poori, some sweets and two pieces of some sweet which looked like small thick poori, soaked in sweet syrup(chashni). Of course I paid for all the prashads(sweets) I got but the prashads were supposed to be blessed with the blessings of the Almighty and hence the person who ate the prashads would be blessed for live and that all his bad deeds would be forgived.
One of the sweet seller refused to sell me more than two pieces of his sweet. On my insistence he said that if more were sold to a particular family then brufanity (he might have meant 'profanity', but rather the word looks like 'brutality'+'profanity') would increase. I couldn't understand him, and I was the only one who was asked by his mother to take prashad from him. She said that since he wasn't there in the temple last year, we should seek his blessings as well by buying his sweets, perhaps a little extra than usual amount, and so asked me to take some extra prashad. This might have meant that more the different kinds of prashads one gets, the more blessed one is (this is my guess).
I looked around and saw that other people in the queue behind me and before me had left, rather vanished. No one seemed to notice this prashad seller.
I asked him if he wanted more money for his sweets and he said that money was not the reason, had it been so, the rich would have dominated the others long ago. He said it was something else, which he couldn't tell me. He was getting little restless and irritated.
Like a small baby, I went back to my mother and said that the person refused to sell his sweets.
On watching my mother approaching him, he gave a terrified look like the other people I'd seen in those stories I'd read.
Before he could say anything to my mother, I WOKE UP !!
I saw myself reading some wierd kind of books, not as wierd as reading about 'palmistry' or 'tarot card reading' or 'black magic' but something similar. I was reading stories, short stories of the incidents which were the result of some supernatural elements. Incidently, all were not stories as such, and looked real as when some of such stories were opened in the book, they turned into some kind of 3d videos and I could actually live the incidents. Though living/witnessing those incidents/stories was not a pleasant experience, it wasn't frightening either. It was more amusement and humor at times.
In one of these stories, which turned into a video as I opened the page for that story, I saw 'Owen Wilson' (not kidding) leaving his bunglow, crossing the road and walking towards a small broken wall. He climbed the wall which was covered with wires and barbed wires in the shape of a spiral, took an electric wire (high voltage), wrapped it around his neck, and started the flow of current. I saw him electrocuting himself with large size full moon shining brightly at the backdrop. It was not scary, it was rather mystifying.
In another of such stories (rather videos) I saw myself standing in some building, perhaps the terrace and saw a man, terrified as one could be, white faced, red eyed, fear covering his severely wrinkled face, was running from something or someone, perhaps his death. He looked here and there, and moved rather slowly when he reached almost the end of terrace.
None of the stories had the creatures like vampires/werewolfs but they were as wierd as the one I just told.
As I progressed in my reading of these stories, they became more live and personal, and I could feel myself standing and watching the events happening in front of my eyes. They gradually turned into a 3d movie watching experience from a mere reading and visualizing/imagining experience. I would sit for long hours in library when I didn't have classes and read books on these stories at a stretch. I had no idea why I chose a particular book or why I was reading such books. It was a kind of sudden interest that propelled this new desire of mine.
In the next scene, I met my mother in a big temple. I say big because it was 'BIG'. It had huge domes, large area, with smaller temples scattered all over the place and though I don't remember going for darshan to any of those temples, I do remember standing beside my mother, while she collected prashad and the first thing she asked me was if I had completed reading those books. I nodded in affirmation as if it was she who told me to read those books and I didn't show any sign of surprise.
She asked me to collect prashad. I took a plate like everyone and joined the queue. Most of the people in queue were dressed in traditional Indian dress, i.e., girls/women wore saree, and boys wore a dhoti and a cloth covering their upper body. The pundits offering prayers to God and their presence were confined to the interiors of the temples. The sweet(prashad) sellers wore dhoti and a cloth covering their upper body, just like the boys. The only exception was that no man (adult male) was present to offer his prayers in that/those temple(s). Hence I wasn't an adult but a school boy in this dream ! :)
My mother had come to the temple with some of her friends.
My prashad plate (thaali) was filled by different prashads as I progressed in the queue and visited different prashads counter (donno the hindi word!), including a large poori, some sweets and two pieces of some sweet which looked like small thick poori, soaked in sweet syrup(chashni). Of course I paid for all the prashads(sweets) I got but the prashads were supposed to be blessed with the blessings of the Almighty and hence the person who ate the prashads would be blessed for live and that all his bad deeds would be forgived.
One of the sweet seller refused to sell me more than two pieces of his sweet. On my insistence he said that if more were sold to a particular family then brufanity (he might have meant 'profanity', but rather the word looks like 'brutality'+'profanity') would increase. I couldn't understand him, and I was the only one who was asked by his mother to take prashad from him. She said that since he wasn't there in the temple last year, we should seek his blessings as well by buying his sweets, perhaps a little extra than usual amount, and so asked me to take some extra prashad. This might have meant that more the different kinds of prashads one gets, the more blessed one is (this is my guess).
I looked around and saw that other people in the queue behind me and before me had left, rather vanished. No one seemed to notice this prashad seller.
I asked him if he wanted more money for his sweets and he said that money was not the reason, had it been so, the rich would have dominated the others long ago. He said it was something else, which he couldn't tell me. He was getting little restless and irritated.
Like a small baby, I went back to my mother and said that the person refused to sell his sweets.
On watching my mother approaching him, he gave a terrified look like the other people I'd seen in those stories I'd read.
Before he could say anything to my mother, I WOKE UP !!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
11th Sept. 2007, Early Morning.
Of my first dream, the last thing I remember is telling someone that the lady whom I'd be for the rest of my life need not be pretty, but should be beautiful. Someone who'd be honest with me and vice versa, there'd be trust and affection and blah blah... and I saw her face, and she wasn't pretty but indeed looked beautiful. Can't recall how she looked. I felt her presence and walked towards her, when I was woken up by a knock at my door! :(
Within a minute, I lied down on my bed and tried to sleep again, in an effort to recall what I'd seen, but had a different experience this time.
I saw myself lying on my stomach (sleeping) on some carpet, in front of the throne of the emperor, on which the queen was sitting. I suddenly woke up, raised my head a little, looked around and saw a few members of parliament, dressed in nice shiny robs all staring at me. I felt like sleeping again, when suddenly I caught sight of the paintings/pictures on the walls just behind the members of the parliament. I saw myself in some of the pictures, and it wasn't me, of course! That surprised me to an extent that I decided to sacrifice my sleep and I woke up. I realized that I was sleeping on the foot of the throne of the queen.
I got up a little and moved backwards, looked around, still trying to figure out the situation and then looked at the paintings/pictures again... I saw standing with the queen and a few others in the pictures.
Next thing I saw, I was travelling with queen and her daughter. I was sitting beside her (the daughter). Something got over me and moved forward and we kissed each other on lips. It was an awesome feeling. Then again I kissed her and she obliged. The third time, I had to move back since she got bored and irritated by it! :D Then I hugged her and dozed off (seriously I have no idea what was going on! I'm typing whatever I can recall.) Yeah, her mom was watching all the time. The daughter was of my age! :p I found myself falling for her, she was so adorable!
Next I'm standing in some kind of hospital and I visit this hospital because my sister has some work, either she has to be admitted or she wants to go there to help, I don't know! The hospital is inside a big building (and the princess is standing beside me during all this) and my sister says good bye to me and enters a huge blue colored tent, which looked like the ICU. Some old women accompanied her, I don't know if it was the queen or someone else!
It almost looked like the situation of 'Don'. I become the prince and save the empire while the queen helps my sister by either getting her treated or helping in fulfiling her dream of treating others, being a doctor and blah blah...
Next I find myself again in that hospital building in front of the blue tent. I stand just outside the tent and find my sister severely sick with blood coming out of her lips, red eyes etc.! (shouldn't have watched Dr. House episodes!) Next second I find my father sitting beside her and I try to stop him from doing anything. He says, "Trust me, I can treat her. you have to trust me this time!" and I allow him to do the necessary. He draws all the blood out of her body, cleanses it and again repumps the blood back into her body. She recovers! :D
Of the third dream that I saw, I remember nothing except that, I survived death and was a nice changed person and look at things in a more positive and happy way. In general my life is happy and I shed my shyness and without worrying about what people think, do things which I think is right. I inspired many people in this way, but I don't remember anything specific about this dream.
The last two paragraphs are the result of me watching two episodes of Dr. House yesterday!
Within a minute, I lied down on my bed and tried to sleep again, in an effort to recall what I'd seen, but had a different experience this time.
I saw myself lying on my stomach (sleeping) on some carpet, in front of the throne of the emperor, on which the queen was sitting. I suddenly woke up, raised my head a little, looked around and saw a few members of parliament, dressed in nice shiny robs all staring at me. I felt like sleeping again, when suddenly I caught sight of the paintings/pictures on the walls just behind the members of the parliament. I saw myself in some of the pictures, and it wasn't me, of course! That surprised me to an extent that I decided to sacrifice my sleep and I woke up. I realized that I was sleeping on the foot of the throne of the queen.
I got up a little and moved backwards, looked around, still trying to figure out the situation and then looked at the paintings/pictures again... I saw standing with the queen and a few others in the pictures.
Next thing I saw, I was travelling with queen and her daughter. I was sitting beside her (the daughter). Something got over me and moved forward and we kissed each other on lips. It was an awesome feeling. Then again I kissed her and she obliged. The third time, I had to move back since she got bored and irritated by it! :D Then I hugged her and dozed off (seriously I have no idea what was going on! I'm typing whatever I can recall.) Yeah, her mom was watching all the time. The daughter was of my age! :p I found myself falling for her, she was so adorable!
Next I'm standing in some kind of hospital and I visit this hospital because my sister has some work, either she has to be admitted or she wants to go there to help, I don't know! The hospital is inside a big building (and the princess is standing beside me during all this) and my sister says good bye to me and enters a huge blue colored tent, which looked like the ICU. Some old women accompanied her, I don't know if it was the queen or someone else!
It almost looked like the situation of 'Don'. I become the prince and save the empire while the queen helps my sister by either getting her treated or helping in fulfiling her dream of treating others, being a doctor and blah blah...
Next I find myself again in that hospital building in front of the blue tent. I stand just outside the tent and find my sister severely sick with blood coming out of her lips, red eyes etc.! (shouldn't have watched Dr. House episodes!) Next second I find my father sitting beside her and I try to stop him from doing anything. He says, "Trust me, I can treat her. you have to trust me this time!" and I allow him to do the necessary. He draws all the blood out of her body, cleanses it and again repumps the blood back into her body. She recovers! :D
Of the third dream that I saw, I remember nothing except that, I survived death and was a nice changed person and look at things in a more positive and happy way. In general my life is happy and I shed my shyness and without worrying about what people think, do things which I think is right. I inspired many people in this way, but I don't remember anything specific about this dream.
The last two paragraphs are the result of me watching two episodes of Dr. House yesterday!
Sunday, August 19, 2007
19th August 2007 Early Morning
I saw myself as a school student and me and a few friends (didn't see them or meet them) decided to do something. We had a plan and we had to do something important. I saw myself at some place, and I was there to protect/save/look after something. Before that I saw myself driving a car and I was disgusting at it! I drove real slow with lack of control on the steering.
Actually I was at my home, and the stuff I was to save/protect/look after was with me at my home. I was on a holiday from school and suddenly I was attacked by some people. They broke in. I just managed to grab the stuff and left in a hurry. I drove my father's car and tried to get as far away as possible!
I reached an old ruined building and hid there, waiting. In a matter of few minutes, they located me (I had hidden the car well off the road!). I saw bulldozers and giant drillers breaking into the building and breaking it down. I was cornered and I saw what I least expected. The "stuff" was taken by them and the cops instead of doing something to them, arrested me! I was just 19 years old!
I lost the stuff to them and was further taken aback when I got arrested. I was sentenced 2 years imprisonment. I never expected to be arrested for such a thing, I thought I was doing something good!
I was to be taken to prison the next day. So I slept at home that night. There wasn't much talking and my father looked more worried than angry. It looked like my mother didn't want to think about it or about anything and my sister unaware of what had happened, was puzzled by everyone's behavior. That night, while sleeping, I realized the importance of home and that I'd be missing the happy moments that I'd spent at home.
Next I saw myself sitting on a bed, reading something. I expected myself to be going to college, but there I was, sitting in confinement. I'd rather call it confinement because the place was in no way like a prison. I had a room to myself, with two beds with beddings, a cupboard, books, ceiling fan, attached bathroom, toilet. A door and a window which faced huge farmlands. Sunshine poured into the room every morning till late evening. It was like living in a pucca house in a village. I felt ashamed and dejected at first, but the place wasn't bad after all. I started reading as many books as I could. I wanted to use the time I had while living in prison.
Next thing I saw myself standing near the edge of cliff and batman standing at the edge of the cliff. A moment later, I saw myself hanging from the edge of the cliff. A few feet away, batman was also hanging from the edge of the cliff and joker standing at the edge of the cliff and laughing. The next moment, the batman standing at the edge of the cliff, turned towards me and said that injustice was done to me and should be corrected. My first thoughts were that Batman rescued me from the prison but I later realized that perhaps he was the one to help me by arranging for such a pleasant stay during my prison years.
We had to fight for justice and that a lot of things were to be done. My dream was broken by my mobile ringing the alarm!
Actually I was at my home, and the stuff I was to save/protect/look after was with me at my home. I was on a holiday from school and suddenly I was attacked by some people. They broke in. I just managed to grab the stuff and left in a hurry. I drove my father's car and tried to get as far away as possible!
I reached an old ruined building and hid there, waiting. In a matter of few minutes, they located me (I had hidden the car well off the road!). I saw bulldozers and giant drillers breaking into the building and breaking it down. I was cornered and I saw what I least expected. The "stuff" was taken by them and the cops instead of doing something to them, arrested me! I was just 19 years old!
I lost the stuff to them and was further taken aback when I got arrested. I was sentenced 2 years imprisonment. I never expected to be arrested for such a thing, I thought I was doing something good!
I was to be taken to prison the next day. So I slept at home that night. There wasn't much talking and my father looked more worried than angry. It looked like my mother didn't want to think about it or about anything and my sister unaware of what had happened, was puzzled by everyone's behavior. That night, while sleeping, I realized the importance of home and that I'd be missing the happy moments that I'd spent at home.
Next I saw myself sitting on a bed, reading something. I expected myself to be going to college, but there I was, sitting in confinement. I'd rather call it confinement because the place was in no way like a prison. I had a room to myself, with two beds with beddings, a cupboard, books, ceiling fan, attached bathroom, toilet. A door and a window which faced huge farmlands. Sunshine poured into the room every morning till late evening. It was like living in a pucca house in a village. I felt ashamed and dejected at first, but the place wasn't bad after all. I started reading as many books as I could. I wanted to use the time I had while living in prison.
Next thing I saw myself standing near the edge of cliff and batman standing at the edge of the cliff. A moment later, I saw myself hanging from the edge of the cliff. A few feet away, batman was also hanging from the edge of the cliff and joker standing at the edge of the cliff and laughing. The next moment, the batman standing at the edge of the cliff, turned towards me and said that injustice was done to me and should be corrected. My first thoughts were that Batman rescued me from the prison but I later realized that perhaps he was the one to help me by arranging for such a pleasant stay during my prison years.
We had to fight for justice and that a lot of things were to be done. My dream was broken by my mobile ringing the alarm!
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