Wednesday, July 16, 2008

16thJuly2008EarlyMorning

I saw myself totally petrified at the idea of taking part in a speech olympiad kind of thing. I saw huge stadium with people from all over the world as audience as well as participants. It was an international event. I was one of the participants purely on the basis of my academic performance, is what I recall.
As I walked across my room, slowly keeping each foot after the other one, with soft sun-rays entering my room (illuminating the dust particles and keeping my room warm), I tried to build the speech in my mind on a random topic. The main point here was to keep on speaking on the topic without any long or lingering pause or pauses. I did that for a few topics in my mind till I couldn't control my anxiety any longer. For all I could recall, I had never spoken in front of any audience anything for a duration of five minutes. And now I was supposed to keep them engaged and interesed in my speech.
I asked my mother about the topic of my speech and she said she had given the slip of paper with the topic on it, to me a couple of hours ago. I started looking for the slip of paper and when I
found it, read the topic on the paper. It gave me cold feet.
My mother then suddenly came to my room and asked me for some medicines. She said they were for my father. I took out the medicine kit from the closet, looked for those medicines and gave them to her. Well, most of the medicines in that kit were for me! It was but evident that I couldn't take part in the speech olympiad because my parents had to leave as my father's
health had gone bad and he also had to get back to work in a couple of days. My mother urged me to take part and return home a couple of days later, but I refused. I felt slightly relieved for not speaking on the podium in front of such eminent people making the audience, but I also knew that it was a big opportunity lost.

I met her yet again, this time when I got back home after not attending speech olympiad. Meeting her made me forget all about the speech olympiad. She told me that she'd moved to this city but was visiting the city for the first time. She wanted me to drop her home. Her presence is something I can never deny.
As a third person, I saw her and me in a cab or an auto-rickshaw. Then as first person, I sat beside her and we talked. I slowly dozed off (What an idiot!). Perhaps a couple of minutes later, I was woken up by a sudden jolt in the movement of the cab. I realized that I had my head on her shoulders. I again closed my eyes. I felt drawn to her and for no reason, I kissed her cheek gently. She shook in a state of surprise. I pretended to be just awakened by my deep sleep and that I didn't know what happened and that whatever happened was while I was asleep. She only smiled. And I smiled too.
After reaching her place, she asked me if I was in contact with any of our common friends. I replied in affirmative and gave her the contact no. and e-mail ids of a few of them I was in touch with. She was really happy about that.
Later that day, when I went back to her apartment to do a favour by getting her something she had asked for, I found the door open. I entered the house. There was a laptop on a small round table in the center of drawing room. Stuffs were thrown on the furnitures. I saw the door of her bedroom ajar. I moved closer to a door and saw a guy lying on the bed with all clothes and shoes on. Who was this guy? I moved closer and saw her head on his belly and eating some ice cream candy, and both were talking. The guy was playing with her hair.
Of course she has a boyfriend... idiot me!
Perhaps the guy saw me, and following his line of sight, so did she. After a brief span of shock, she smiled and introduced me to him. She thanked me for all my help (of course I would have helped, and of course it doesn't make a difference!). Maybe she was too overwhelmed by all my "help" that she showed me a message she'd be sending to one of our common friends. She asked me for suggestions about the message. It had been a long time since she had not communicated with anyone of us. I said it was just the thing she should write, a part as apology, a part about all that had been going on in life, and about present state of life.
As I began to leave, I turned and looked at her again. She was still smiling and her face was still glowing, her eyes still shining. This was what had mesmerized me ten years ago. She had changed a lot, but she was still the person.
Alas, we are just friends, and even though I still feel the love for her, friendship is not love, isn't it!

I was glad to be back in college, in the Old Boy's Hostel among my friends for the final year. I saw Mridul grinning at me, the way he always does, for no reason whatsoever. I saw a heap of books wrapped in plastic. Akshay came from behind, saying something and ends his talk with a broad smile, in the process saving himself from tumbling over the heap of books. I asked him what he was saying and he said, "never mind, I'll explain later. First we must pick this heap of books and take it to my room." I couldn't interpret the words he said. I felt nostalgic about the fact that all my btech batchmates wouldn't be around after one year...

Sunday, June 15, 2008

4thJune2008LateAfternoon

I saw myself in a huge bathroom, with tiling on floor and walls completely covered with mirrors. It had a huge bathing tub, and a shower area with curtains... I suppose I was a guest in someone else's house, perhaps some aunt of mine.
Next thing I saw was being late to a grand party, which was supposed to be in some awesome place. My father kept on asking me to hurry and get dressed. I quickly got dressed in my suit (probably tuxedo) and my parents, my sister and I left for the party. I remember getting down from the army vehicle (gypsy) and walking into the grand place with my parents and sister. My parents walked straight into the grand hall where other officers and their wives were sitting. My sister and I walked up the steep curved lane to the first floor.
For a person looking at that building from outside, from one side it would look like a cylindrical shaped tall structure, because of the curvy path to the upper floors. As we reached the first floor, we saw a few kids with fancy conical caps, masks etc. peeping from a hole in the wall beside the curvy pathway, while one other kid who stood at the entrance of the first floor hall, on hearing someone call his name, ran inside the hall. The curtains had been drawn, and so I looked inside the hall and saw few small kids running all over the floor, chasing someone or being chased by someone and perhaps falling in the process. I went inside and asked one of the persons responsible for taking care of the kids and providing them with soft drinks and eatables, when they asked for some, about the shooting event. He said that the shooting competition was on seventh floor. Surprise was my first reaction, urgency became my second reaction.
My sister and I left the first floor and walked up to the second floor. Second and third floor had teenagers and in one glance at the second floor hall I saw a few of them chit-chatting, talking about all kinds of stuff, and saw a few groups p about stuffs, playing games in groups, and we passed those floors quickly.
Third floor was more or less similar to second floor, in terms of noise levels, movement of persons etc. Fourth floor hall had curtains on. But as we started walking up, someone called my sister's name. We turned and saw her school friend standing outside the hall. My sister said that she'd like to hang out with her friend, so I left alone and walked up the two floors. Surprisingly, the fifth and sixth floor were only lighted in the curvy pathway and the respective halls were closed. This made me wonder why they chose the highest floor for the shooting event.
Finally, when I reached the seventh floor, I saw a few people sitting on chairs lined up on either side in the hall, leaving enough room for the shooter to stand at a distance and shoot. It looked like the event was almost over and it was apparent that I was late. As a matter of fact, the event had to start at about 7 o'clock and the time was about 8:30 or 9 pm. I was hopeful for getting a chance for hitting a few shots. Yes, it was shooting something like balloons, but I felt as if I'd been excited and waiting for this event for some substantial amount of time.
Luckily few more guys walked in and looking at more participants, we all got chance to shoot. When I got up to shoot, I saw my sister walking in the hall, with her school friend and waving at me. I waved back and then I saw myself wearing a hat and yeah, leather jacket, like a professional shooter or a cowboy, and aiming my gun (it was a pistol or shotgun).
I don't remember what happened after that, if I won or not, but I do remember that the feast was the grandest that I had ever seen. Two halls, each having long table with delectable dishes, some delicious desserts, but I don't remember much about what I ate, but all that I ate looked great.

Monday, June 2, 2008

30thMay2008EarlyMorning

I saw myself running frantically on the corridor of a school/college building. I was on the second floor. I looked at the class numbers on the tiny wooden boards as I passed by each class. I was looking for the exam room in which I was supposed to sit for my exam. After two rounds of the second floor, I went to the third floor to find the exam room. I saw science labs, sports rooms, kindergarden etc. After half an hour of running around, I found Dhingra having water from the water cooler. He saw me and asked me, "Did you complete your exam?"

"I can't find my exam room, did you finish you exam?"

"Yes, a few minutes ago. Others are still writing, but you know me, I leave the exam hall before everyone else."

"Yeah."

I couldn't find my exam hall and only half an hour was left when I looked at my watch. I walked into one of the rooms where some students were giving exams. I talked to the teacher/invigilator sitting there about my situation. Surprisingly she got me my question paper and made me sit in one of the seats. I started writing as fast as I could. After the examination time was over, she was kind enough to allow me to write till I completed my exam. She sat beside me which made me a bit uncomfortable because she occasionally read my answers which were not neat (both in presentation and language). She was pretty, though.

2ndJune2008EarlyMorning

I saw myself with my friend who was asking me to hurry lest we might be late for some place we had to go. Actually I was involved in doing something else and he came and reminded me of the fact that we had to be somewhere at that time, which was more important. So, I stopped whatever I was doing and took some essentials like my diary, my ID card etc. with me so that I may be able to enter the venue.
Before we could reach the place, I was kidnapped!
Actually it happened so that I and my friend was walking to that place, on an early sunny evening, on a road with trees on both sides. He walked a little ahead of me and I remember him wearing a light blue shade suit as I looked at him from behind, walking away. Next thing I remember I was sitting with a couple of men, both in their middle ages who were asking me about my identity and some information about the meeting or the place I had to go to. At first I tried to lie, suspecting some conspiracy or danger to me, my family or something or someone else. They looked so desperate. They threatened to call my parents and ask them about it. I
imagined my parents standing there and my father telling me to tell them everything about myself and that it'd be no harm to do that.
Due to fear, I told them everything, about me and about the meeting that I would have attended, had they not have interrupted. I was left alone for sometime, tied to a chair with a rope, in that dark dingy room, with some last sun-rays coming through a broken glass of
the window. They returned and untied me, and told me about their motive of keeping me that way. They said that they had made something, and they showed me the draft and the prototype. They said that their model was much better than that which would be shown in the conference that I'd have attended. I could then imagine people sitting in the conference, with a couple of men showing the prototype for the purpose that they were talking about. They explained that the prototype to be shown in the conference involved fusion of a few things at various stages while their prototype did the same thing in one step, with greater efficiency. As I imagined it, I
could see the difference.Perhaps I saw myself taking their prototype to the conference, a roll of the sheet of papers as I walked out of my car, even though I was one of the guests.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

1st June 2008 Early Morning

First thing I remember was a huge 'Khaai' or canyon. It was deep and beautiful. It was vast and covered with vegetation. I saw it while safely standing on top.
Next thing I remember is our professor coming up with a crazy but interesting idea for a project. It involved the whole batch. It was a big project and had a lot of scope but he asked us to start our work one week before the end semester exams. And no one was in a mood to work for the project as we had other deadlines to meet. I took a part of the project that I would be doing, after few of my batchmates planned and discussed the division of the work of project amongst us. My mind raced through the schedule for coming week and allotted time for the project in that schedule.
Last week of semester proved to be disastrous. After missing two English classes because of staying at home during that week sometime earlier in the semester, this week I missed one class and was late for one, after I overslept due to fatigue. I reached the class half an hour late and sat beside Bhanukiran. He asked me where had I been in all previous English classes. Of course he knew the reasons.
One should never lie in life. I had not good reason to lie but I did the same. I stood at the first floor corridor of school building, looking into my notebook at a half torn page in the bottom half of which I had written a few things that could help me conveniently prepare for exams. I looked at it, both in amazement that I have a shortcut now, and in disbelief that, will this really help me?
I would never have thought this in my worst nightmares, but I sensed it now. I felt that the headmistress was standing behind me, looking at what I was looking at. I turned slowly, cautiously and found a couple of students walk past me. I turned to my notebook, closed it and as I turned to leave, I saw the headmistress standing in front of me.
"I would like to look at the page you were looking at, in your notebook!"
I sensed danger!
I turned the pages of my notebook back and forth in an attempt to find a similar half torn page at the top. I found a close replica scribbled in same way, which I showed her. She asked for my notebook and asked me to leave. I saw myself walking away from her and she looking at that page when I heard her call me from behind, with the notebook in her hand, "It is not a good thing to lie."
I froze at my place. How could she know of the shortcut?!
I always thought she had some magical powers. I saw myself sitting in front of her, in her office. She seemed furious. After few seconds she spoke, "you wanted to take the shortcut, isn't it?"
I couldn't say anything to that.
"Let me make it easier for you", she said. She handed me my notebook open at that page. I did what she wanted me to do. As I read the contents of the page, I saw myself looking at a street junction. I saw the headmistress standing on it, in front of an antique shop I think. I saw a man of almost her age walking towards her. She slapped him or something and he was hurt. A few seconds later, I saw them kissing passionately and that man apologizing.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

31stMay2008LateAfternoon

I saw myself traveling with my parents and sister. We were all traveling by train, and it was dusk. I sat there and my mind wandered into yesterday, the instance when it all started.
There was a man who looked quite like J K Simmons (the egotistical newspaper editor in the Spiderman movies). I recalled the last time I looked at him, he wore a black overcoat, and I could see his face for a brief moment when the light flickered on his face, then it went dark again. I remembered the fact that the man was not very much liked by anyone. He was a shrewd and tough guy, and rude sometimes. We had to leave the house we stayed in because yesterday, like sometimes, he didn't speak in a very good manner with my father. But yesterday was different. Unlike everytime when my father, on the advice of my mother, ignored his rude irritating behavior, yesterday my father told him about what the fact that the man was rude and wasn't very cooperative while working, and my father being a kind of person not tolerating such kind of behavior, vented all his anger and frustration in the form of words and louder pitch in voice. My father scolded that man yesterday. The man was either my father's colleague or his boss.
A couple of hours ago, me and my sister were suddenly woken up while I was enjoying deep sleep. My mother said that we had to leave the house immediately. I saw packed trunks and furniture, paintings etc. wrapped in gunny bags and cardboard. All the luggage looked packed.
Next thing I knew I was standing at the station. I felt strange that within an hour I was standing at the platform, waiting for the arrival of the train. It was still dark and we, and a couple of people who'd come to see us off at the station and help with the luggage.
I looked out of the window, and saw the slow process of darkness vanishing and things coming to light and the bluish greyish ambience.
Early morning freshness was not the only reason for my pleasant mood after the sudden turn of events. I knew we'd be going to a new house, meet new people, make new friends...
It turned out that the people in our neighborhood and my father's colleagues in the office, all really appreciated what my father had done. They felt sorry at the same time that they couldn't prevent us from leaving the place. My father said that he felt better that way.

Monday, May 26, 2008

26thMay2008 EarlyAndLateMorning

This time, it were not snakes but crabs that troubled me. From what I can recall, I found myself lying on perhaps a sandy beach or some similar place where lots of crabs live. I stayed lying there and couldn't get up. I saw a couple of crabs slowly moving towards me. One of the crabs near my feet hit me with its forehand claws (or whatever they are called!). The crabs looked like the red colored crab "sebastian" of Disney's Little Mermaid cartoon. The hit woke me up and I found myself lying on my bed. My first instinct was to look at my feet that was hit.
I slept again, this time to visit a big conference kind of thing in some foreign country. I remember being in one of those large halls, among big celebrities, though I don't remember seeing anyone distinctly. I remember me and Mohit staying in luxurious hotel room, with lots of celebrities in neighbouring rooms. One evening at dusk, after the conference when I came out, I looked around at the big glass buildings and the broad roadways. I felt the cool air and the bluish dimness of the dusk. After sometime, I saw Shah Rukh Khan walking across in front of me. I was totally taken aback after looking at him from such a close distance. He was perhaps looking for someone or something as he stood there in front of me, and looking here and there with his searching eyes. My first instinct was to ask him for an autograph. He looked at me for an instant and I froze at my position. When he turned his gaze away, I walked up to him and asked for an autograph. He obliged, but I didn't have any page or notebook or something on which he could give me an autograph. At that moment, Mohit walked up to me and I asked Mohit to get a sheet of paper. He got a sheet of paper and Shah Rukh Khan gave his autograph on it, one each for both of us, on the top and bottom half of the sheet. I wasn't looking when he was giving the autograph. Something strange happened and he struck off the autographs given by him with pen strokes on it (was it because of IPL, but that can't be because they'd won that night!). He then apologized and asked for another sheet of paper so that he could again give us the autographs. At that moment, his car arrived and he had to leave.