Friday, September 12, 2008


I saw myself in a hasty process of getting ready for school. I saw myself wearing my uniform as fast as possible, and hang the tie with an untidy knot around my neck. As I started wearing my socks, I felt the need to attend nature's call. "Damn", I thought, "why can't this happen when I wake up in the morning, everything has to happen at the last moment!" While sitting in the loo, I was reminded of something that was important to me and that I had to do. In my mind I saw myself with a backpack, a modified form of my schoolbag, but stuffed with heavy stuffs. I was getting late with every passing second. I heard the chattering sounds of school kids and a few honking horns of the bus. My sister shouted that the bus won't stop for me! Of course it won't!
I was again reminded of something that I had to do, which was important to me. I thought, "I chose this life for myself. I am doing this for my friend. I didn't mean to harm anyone, but no one understands the language of love and peace. I have to help my friend and save him."
I rushed out of the toilet, while pulling my pants on, and tucking my shirt. I grabbed my schoolbag, looked at it for a few seconds, smiled and rushed outside. The bus had already left. I decided to catch it at its next stop. I took a short-cut, the connecting paths between the buildings. The bus followed the road and hence took a longer route to its next stop. I reached the place and was standing there when I saw the bus appear from behind the last building I could see on that road. I smiled at the driver as the bus stopped in front of me. I got into the bus and sat beside my sister. Looking at her I was again reminded of that day.
That day, me and my sister got lost in a carnival. I don't remember my parents presence in the carnival. I and my sister stood at some foodstall, when I saw a man staring at us. He had long hair, and traces of beard on his face. We left the stall and went elsewhere but he seemed to follow us. I started running with my sister. We ran between strings of foodstalls on either side, then we went and hid behind a bench. Once in a while I peeked over the bench and still saw him standing, looking around for us. I had no idea why was he looking for us. The place behind that bench was a good hiding place because he couldn't find us there for the next few hours, i.e., while the carnival fair was still on. I was too afraid to leave that place, and I also had the responsibility of keeping my little sister safe. So we slept there, behind that bench that night. I didn't like it there, behind the bench. I wanted to be back at home, with my mommy and daddy, in my room, on my bed. I'm sure my sister was scared too, but she didn't say anything, just held me close and slept.
I felt like killing that man then and there but I was a teenager and he was a full grown man, armed perhaps and fierce looking.
Next thing I remember was me and my friend with the dead body of that man. How did he die? Did we kill him? If not, what were we doing there? I don't know either of these things.
As I sat in the bus, which steadily moved close to the school, I knew what I had to do. My friend had taken the blame for that man's death on himself. Perhaps the cops might have found us with that man's dead body. I had to save my friend, help him get out of this mess which was created because of me, I guess.
I looked at my sister. She didn't seem to remember anything about that evening, which was good.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008


I saw myself in one of the events that happened in my life earlier. I saw myself standing on the bridge which is famous for some reason I don't remember. I don't even remember its name. This bridge is en route from Rameshwaram to Trivandrum. It was a big and wide bridge with a road on it, and pavements where vendors sold fruit salad/slices, channa, bhel etc. My father parked our car along the pavement and my mother got out and asked me to follow her. We went and stood at the edge of the bridge. It was breezy early evening with warm sun-rays and moving and stationary vehicles and people on the pavement keeping the bridge road a busy, occupied place.
She said, "Isn't this a wonderful view!" I stood there looking at the river water and the tiny disturbances on the surface of water, those tiny waves when suddenly I felt nauseatic and dizzy. I stood at the corner of the bridge and felt like I would loose consciousness any moment. I then realized that I didn't feel comforable looking down from a considerable amount of height. I lost consciousness.
Next thing I remember was being at our old neighbor's house for lunch. They were our older neighbors from another city were we lived earlier. I remember myself riding a bike, a bicycle with strong tyres, in front of their house. One of the children in their neighborhood were riding their small bicycles and one of them hit her bicycle to the tyre of my bicycle and the tyres of her bicycle broke into pieces. She started accusing me of being the reason and I argued with her that she hit my bicycle's tyres and I wasn't the one coming in her way. Other children also took her side and said that it was my fault. They started shouting at me. Next thing I saw myself allowing her ride my bicycle for sometime. Since she was quite small, I held the bicycle for her and she pushed the pedals with the tip of her feet. She had won the argument and I had to allow her to ride my bicycle for sometime.
There was a crazy TV set in the garage of my former neighbors at whose home we had gone for having lunch. Only their kids knew about the craziness of the TV set. It felt like the TV set read my mind, because some of the advertisements showed some of my batchmates wearing funny clothes and selling stuffs, in short, a model for the advertisements. In one of them, I saw one of my batchmates selling the baseball kit. He spoke a few lines for advertising the product while playing with the ball and wearing the baseball glove in his left hand, a baseball uniform with cap. Then he started singing a song in a funny way and concluded the advertisement reassuring how good the product was. I could be hallucinating about all this, but the next advertisement was about home delivery and stuffs and I saw another of my batchmate acting like a disciplined punctual person who does everything on time. He emphasized that the home delivery service of some company is as disciplined and punctual as he is, as if people would take his word for it! He played with his moustache for a while. The advertisement showed him in a lot of different clothes, once as a cook preparing food in his own kitchen, once as a business tycoon who concludes a deal within a few minutes etc. After watching this commercial I started feeling hungry because the advertisement showed a lot of delicious dishes, especially chicken dishes. I do remember having gravy chicken that afternoon in lunch at my former neighbor's house.