29th April 2010 Late Morning

I saw myself with my parents and sister, all dressed up for a party and walking into this large hall with few long tables neatly covered with red cloth, in the center and chairs all around the hall, by the walls. Few families were there but clearly all the men were higher officials. Although I felt out of place among them, I did feel after a while that I was smarter than many there.
The ambiance was great. The grand hall was well lit; there was a chandelier in the center, I guess. The big silver wares for each food dish and the cutlery felt upper class. One side of the hall had a small door that led straight to the kitchen, the other door led to the bar. The opposite side of the hall had a small lobby which faced the glass door that led straight to a green and well lit park, with fountain and grass and flowers and shrubs, and benches to sit on. All the kids were playing outside in the park when we entered the grand hall.

While in line for dinner, I filled my plate completely. For some more space, I took another plate, a smaller one and put the dessert, gulab jamun, into it. I smiled as I managed to put the gulab jamun into the smaller plate I was holding with my left hand. I then thought, how's this possible. I looked behind my back at others who were staring at me. I looked down and saw the main plate with all the food fallen on the carpeted floor. I was expecting lots of food on the carpet and my shoes but there wasn't food at all, only that big white plate, unbroken. I silently had my dessert, then helped serve the other dessert, which looked like gulab jamuns, but were oblong in shape.
Later at home, I was frustrated for not being able to even take care of my plate of food. My mother consoled me and said she'd make something for me, but I asked her not to bother.

14th March 2010, Early Morning

I was at a party at a rich person's house. The living room was almost packed with guests. It was an invitation only party and I had been invited because of something I was or something I had done, so I was there. The lights were dim and people were slow dancing on the music playing in the background. I felt isolated in the party because I knew limited number of people, all of whom were busy chit-chatting with others, slow dancing, and eating. I stood at a corner with my drink, looking at others.
Next thing, I saw my high school friend at the party !! I was looking at her after many years but could recognize her because she looked quite the same. In that dress she was wearing, and under the dim bluish lighting and slow music, I found her beautiful. I saw her chatting with a married couple and smiling pleasantly. I had always liked her more than a friend. We met like old buddies meet after years. She was a joyous sense of relief in that boring party. We talked for sometime, then she suddenly left me and went to talk to others. She said she would be back in a bit but she wasn't. I felt isolated again. I went to refill my drink (which was non-alcoholic, btw) when I met the hostess. She asked me for a favor and I agreed to do it. But while doing it I realized my mistake. Doing that favor was more boring than standing alone like a statue in that party. Two ladies whom I had seen standing at a corner, just like me, joined me at what I was doing, as if they were looking for something to do. None of the two would speak, only stare at me, at what I was doing. They looked like twin sisters, only they didn't look alike.
Some idiot in a leather jacket, started chit-chatting with the hostess who was standing beside me and the twin ladies. Before she could ask him for the same favor, he offered his services, probably to have a good impression on her. Either he had a crush on that lady, or his mommy must have told him to do so, because the favor wasn't worth any good impression or riches! Thank you, I said to him and left my work to him.
I saw my friend standing in isolation with her drink at the spot I stood for most of the party, aloof in her thoughts. I went to her and in our casual conversation, told her my feelings about her. She gave me the exact reaction I had expected. She said it was very sweet of me and that she also liked me but some things had changed in past few months that at the moment she wasn't ready for any such commitment. I persisted, because I had fell in love with her all over again in the moment I saw her for the first time after many years.
"Why didn't you tell me before?" she said, that tenderness in her voice that almost convinced me she would agree.
"I am telling you now!" I said with all the sincerity in my heart.
She turned to face me and we kissed gently. As we slow danced, holding each other close, I also fell in love with the slow music and the dim blue lighting.

I saw myself at a check post while leaving for home. There was some commotion because somebody said a terrorist had been caught. I got down from my jeep and went to check when I saw Ragunathan sir talking to other policemen or some other security agency personnel. He was their senior, I learned, and was congratulating them on their success and motivating them to keep up the good work. I saw a person looking at all of them with a disgust on his face. I could guess he was the terrorist. He offered me Rs. 90 if I allowed him to walk away and not tell the police that he was running away. He said he only had that much money with him. I refused. He reduced the offer to Rs. 50 and I asked him, "Do you even know how to count?"
I told him, traffic police in India also doesn't agree at Rs. 90, how could I, that too when risk was so high!
He was taken away. I rode back to home in my gypsy. My mother wasn't feeling well so we had to leave. My sister, mother and some friend was sitting behind in the gypsy. My father was staying at some other place. I saw us driving my the streets of Persia, as shown in the game, 'Prince of Persia'. I thought of my work and that there were some people I didn't like at my department, but due to joining of some new people, that dislike had been lessened, as if the new people act like neutralizers. I started thinking of numerology and also trying to find a relation between first alphabet of names of people I keep away from in my department and the new people in my department. While such thoughts occupied my mind, I saw kids playing on the street as we took a turn to the right. Most of the city was stone floored and each road had either houses or a wall on either side.
I get a phone call from the same terrorist even before we are able to drive out of the city. He threatens me that since I didn't help him escape, he'll make my life miserable. He started telling me what all damage he could possibly do and I start feeling scared. His voice and mannerism of speaking made me laugh but I controlled myself, lest I'd offend him even more. My mother wasn't feeling well, my sister was with me, I had a girlfriend now and we were still away from home, driving on strange roads.
Suddenly I see myself doing push-ups, and then I see another self of mine jogging on the streets of the city, as shown in 'Prince of Persia'. Could that be my alter-ego? Or my own self preparing for the future?

10thJan2009EarlyMorning

Late morning at around 11 am, I saw myself standing inside the building of MH (Military Hospital) beside my father. I was sick, probably the most familiar sickness of bronchial asthma. We already had an appointment, so doctor's assistant came out of doctor's office and took us to a room where I was to be given treatment with nebulizer. I was feeling weak and could hardly walk because I was unable to breathe properly due to my ailment. I had earlier taken treatment of nebulizer so I knew the procedure and had the experience. But when we entered the nebulizer room, some other guy, of same age as me, was lying on the hospital bed. He was on nebulizer treatment. I looked at him and was reminded of my previous experience. He looked at me and my father, his pale face and eyes showed his weakness due to lack of oxygen in his body.
Suddenly he started choking and shaking, as if in pain. He couldn't even remove the mouth cover (oxygen mask) of the nebulizer from his mouth. He seemed paralyzed and then he coughed blood into the oxygen mask. I stared in shock, as my father called for the assistant of the doctor who handled those instruments. The guy was stablized and put to sleep, in another room. Now was my chance to use the nebulizer but my father was skeptical about the safety of that equipment, after looking at the condition of the other guy. He suspected something wrong in the nebulizer and asked the assistant of the doctor and few others to investigate. I sat at one corner of the room, looking at them while they checked the machine. They said the machine was in perfect working condition.
A couple of minutes later the medical report for that other guy came, which said that he had sudden internal bleeding in his lungs due to which he choked. The reason was still unknown but they confirmed the fact that it was not because of the nebulizer. Learning this I wondered, what if the things he inhaled through the nebulizer made his condition worse. Ultimately my father got me some medicines and avoided the nebulizer treatment. The hospital staff was worried about the speculation my father had and that he'd report it to the higher authorities. My father kept his silence on this.
Later that evening I went to a birthday party. After the cake cutting ceremony and the feasting, I saw the birthday girl laughing and standing beside a guy (is he the same guy from the hospital? I don't really remember... what if he really is! How could he be here then?) behind a round table and got their photos taken. Her brother and his girlfriend also joined them. Then the guy and her brother shook hands in bro style and that guy took the birthday girl by her hand and both left. The birthday girl looked really happy and excited. While leaving the guy greeted me good bye and left. I am still not sure he was the same guy whom I had seen in the hospital.
Looking at those two together made me realize that maybe I also should be in a relationship. Looking at the birthday girl I thought that I should also have a girlfriend like her, not her in particular. While my mind was occupied with such thoughts, the scene suddenly changed and I saw a forest with a big lake in between surrounded by trees and mountains partially covered with snow, which reminded me of the movie Chronicles of Narnia. I then discovered the truth about the birthday girl. A voice told me that she is the protector of the creatures who live in this forest and she must protect them during winter season when these small/weak creatures have to come out of their hidden homes to fetch food. During winters, most of the wilder/strong creatures become active and search for food as well, and sometimes this search leads to fight over food, which might hurt the weaker creatures. During summers all the creatures remain dormant in their hidden homes (like burrows, caves etc.). Also, some super powerful beings also stay in those forests and their fights could also hurt the weaker creatures which must be protected to maintain balance of nature in that forest, and in general. So she must return every winter to help them, to protect them. I saw all these things as a movie, by being inside the movie, and saw those creatures fighting and these weaker creatures dying unnecessarily. I saw the birthday girl, spreading her arms and soaring in the sky, wearing white dress and protecting the weaker creatures.
I found it unbelievable but after I decided to believe in this part of the truth about her I realized the reason for her happiness... winters were approaching, the change of weather made me sick with bronchitis, the other guy was dying of internal bleeding but was now enjoying the party. I also didn't feel the sickness while at the party. She was happy because her boyfriend was healthy and well again, not realizing that she made him healthy and well, and her happiness emanated her powers that corrected everything around her, including my bronchitis. She didn't know the truth about her and I learned the truth, so maybe I am supposed to tell her the truth.
She is only an acquaintance so I am not sure that she'd believe me, but maybe I am the best person to tell her, that's why I was the one who was chosen for this task.

21stOct2008EarlyMorning

Hide and Seek

I saw myself in my hostel room in NBH third floor. I kept the door open and frequently stared at the corridor on the other side of the doorway, with a strange fear in my mind. Then suddenly I decided that my room was not a safe place anymore, and simultaneously saw myself in a huge lobby of a big house, which was as if had been teleported to the big house or my room had suddenly grown large, or maybe it was just my imagination. The idea of examination next day increased my fear, and I had a lot left to prepare.
It all started the evening last week, at the beach party where I and my friends started the game of a new kind of hide and seek. The beach looked lovely with the lighting and the palm trees and large no. of people singing and dancing, but we had lost the mood for the party. So, we all went and sat a little away from the crowd and while chatting decided to play hide and seek with a small alteration in the rule that the ones found by the seeker would also become the seeker, something like becoming a vampire after being bitten by a vampire. We played that game all night till the last campfire burned out.
In a state of agitation, I decided to study with my friend Atul in his room. Atul was one of the players of the beach party hide and seek last week. I started studying again, doing my preparation the usual way.
Next thing I see myself sitting in the corridor, beside the open door of my room, with friends from the beach party beside me. They said it was fine, and that it was just a game and that I should forget it. One of them, Gaurav I think, said that he was the seeker and he touched my arm to show that what I was thinking was my imagination and was not true. The fact is, I was having visions, visions of places I was not at that time. While studying, once in a while, the pages of the book change into someone's bedroom or lighted road in the campus and it was not because of I drowsing while studying. I drowse quite often while studying and I know the difference. It wasn't day dreaming either. It felt like I was in those places, the visions looked so real. And with all these visions I saw a man, in his late 40s or early 50s, looking at the beach from the window of his suite.
I thought that as a seeker I had some kind of powers to see what the other seekers of the game are viewing at any time of the game, one at a time, just like one can change view while playing video games. Our last game was left incomplete because we had run out of lighting on the beach and it was too late to continue. Since I was one of the seekers in the last game, I thought that the powers of a seeker again took over me at the time same as the time last week when we played the game. I then realized that similar thing happened last week as well, but since any part of the beach looked mostly the same as the others I didn't notice the visions at that time.
Didn't my friends get the same visions?
If they did, why didn't they say anything?
If they didn't why didn't they? why only me?
Could it be that the man in his late 40s is the main seeker, looking at the world through other seekers like me? Did he touch me to give me such an ability, like a seeker in the hide and seek game?
Will completing the last game of beach party hide and seek help me get rid of these visions?
Before I could get answers to any of these questions, I guess I woke up.

4thJune2008LateAfternoon

I saw myself in a huge bathroom, with tiling on floor and walls completely covered with mirrors. It had a huge bathing tub, and a shower area with curtains... I suppose I was a guest in someone else's house, perhaps some aunt of mine.
Next thing I saw was being late to a grand party, which was supposed to be in some awesome place. My father kept on asking me to hurry and get dressed. I quickly got dressed in my suit (probably tuxedo) and my parents, my sister and I left for the party. I remember getting down from the army vehicle (gypsy) and walking into the grand place with my parents and sister. My parents walked straight into the grand hall where other officers and their wives were sitting. My sister and I walked up the steep curved lane to the first floor.
For a person looking at that building from outside, from one side it would look like a cylindrical shaped tall structure, because of the curvy path to the upper floors. As we reached the first floor, we saw a few kids with fancy conical caps, masks etc. peeping from a hole in the wall beside the curvy pathway, while one other kid who stood at the entrance of the first floor hall, on hearing someone call his name, ran inside the hall. The curtains had been drawn, and so I looked inside the hall and saw few small kids running all over the floor, chasing someone or being chased by someone and perhaps falling in the process. I went inside and asked one of the persons responsible for taking care of the kids and providing them with soft drinks and eatables, when they asked for some, about the shooting event. He said that the shooting competition was on seventh floor. Surprise was my first reaction, urgency became my second reaction.
My sister and I left the first floor and walked up to the second floor. Second and third floor had teenagers and in one glance at the second floor hall I saw a few of them chit-chatting, talking about all kinds of stuff, and saw a few groups p about stuffs, playing games in groups, and we passed those floors quickly.
Third floor was more or less similar to second floor, in terms of noise levels, movement of persons etc. Fourth floor hall had curtains on. But as we started walking up, someone called my sister's name. We turned and saw her school friend standing outside the hall. My sister said that she'd like to hang out with her friend, so I left alone and walked up the two floors. Surprisingly, the fifth and sixth floor were only lighted in the curvy pathway and the respective halls were closed. This made me wonder why they chose the highest floor for the shooting event.
Finally, when I reached the seventh floor, I saw a few people sitting on chairs lined up on either side in the hall, leaving enough room for the shooter to stand at a distance and shoot. It looked like the event was almost over and it was apparent that I was late. As a matter of fact, the event had to start at about 7 o'clock and the time was about 8:30 or 9 pm. I was hopeful for getting a chance for hitting a few shots. Yes, it was shooting something like balloons, but I felt as if I'd been excited and waiting for this event for some substantial amount of time.
Luckily few more guys walked in and looking at more participants, we all got chance to shoot. When I got up to shoot, I saw my sister walking in the hall, with her school friend and waving at me. I waved back and then I saw myself wearing a hat and yeah, leather jacket, like a professional shooter or a cowboy, and aiming my gun (it was a pistol or shotgun).
I don't remember what happened after that, if I won or not, but I do remember that the feast was the grandest that I had ever seen. Two halls, each having long table with delectable dishes, some delicious desserts, but I don't remember much about what I ate, but all that I ate looked great.