There was a little girl who went missing. It was Mahaveer who first asked me to search for her. There were two other things also that I had to search but the little girl worried me the most. Her absence haunted me in my dreams too. I knew I had to find her!
Once something got stuck in my throat and I was trying hard to push it out but in vain. I felt as if the little girl was telling me that I'd left her in the dark and she was scared. I tried harder to push out the thing stuck in my throat. I didn't come out, so I swallowed it with force.
I had late breakfast as usual and was carrying a glass of milk to drink after sometime. I saw Kapil, Atul, Parashar, Pankaj, Alok, Mahaveer and others playing some stupid game in which they'd hold anyone and push that person very hard and run with that person, then eventually releasing him/her from their grip. I tried to tell them that I had a full big glass of milk in my hand and that the milk would fall and that would make me angry. They didn't bother and the group, like a group of bees surrounded me from behind and pushed me randomly left, right, front. I got angry and spilled all my milk on the person on my right because I was holding the milk in my right hand. Sadly the person was Atul! After that I did throw the remaining drops at Parashar as well but the damage had been done. I went to mess to refill the glass with some milk. On the wall clock above the entrance to the stairs that led to Yuktahaar mess, I saw the time, 12:13 pm. It was way past the breakfast time, so I had to do without milk.
There was some guy who came to me asking for Sushanta. I said I didn't know where he was at the moment. He asked me what bothered me and I said a little girl was missing and he said if I had investigated it thoroughly. I said I didn't ask the girls of the college. He said Sushanta was incharge of ice-creams and that girls would definitely come to him for ice-creams and we could ask them at that time. I looked at him, he seemed to be quite interested in meeting the girls. Then Sashidhar came along and I asked him, "hey how would you suggest a missing person could be found?"
Sashidhar thought for a few seconds and suggested that we could trace her by the IP address. He then explained that the last number would be the person's ID, second last number would be the person's batch, third last number... Finally I asked him, could this method be used at present? Sashidhar, who was sitting on the sidewalk divider, looked up at me, I looked at the other guy. Both of them nodded in negative.
Nobody seemed to be bothered about the missing little girl. Was I the only one who knew about it? Did I imagine Mahaveer telling me about the little girl? Have I been doing too much detective work, as in searching for lost things that I've started hallucinating?
I looked at Sashidhar and the other guy, both lost in their own thoughts, I looked to my right, a little ahead and all my friends were still playing that silly game. I felt the dusk giving way to the night as the darkness slowly spread itself around us.
Showing posts with label IIIT-H. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IIIT-H. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Thursday, May 7, 2009
8th May 2009 Early Morning
I saw myself taking part in one of the most amazing geeky + adventurous (dangerous) events in the world. This was all because of attending the classes of a lady teacher very attentively and doing class participation. In one of the classes when I couldn't control my urge of having maggi which was in my lunch box, I lowered my head at the bench and took a little bite. I did that a few times, carefully lest the teacher would find out. I felt part relieved and part amused when I saw others also having their food from their lunch boxes. Occasionally teacher did give a accusing look in the direction of those eating food while she was teaching, but I was safe because I was participating in class, discussing and answering questions!
It happened so that she did punish few students for having food in her class, and she also walked up to my desk and asked me if I was having my lunch while bending a little to see if I was hiding anything inside my desk. I replied in negative. When the class was over she called me while I was walking out of the room and asked me which teacher I was working under. I said I was working under prof. P K Reddy. She ignored my reply and said that some of the faculty members were planning to send their students to some international level geeky+adventurous competition. We walked out of the class and she told me all about it, people from various parts of the world competing in almost all kinds of competition, be it mathematical problems, or adventure sports or social events/dances etc. I could see people of various nationalities dancing in a circle. I was flabbergasted about existence of such a competition yet quite interested. Before I could say anything, I was in the competition! :D
The only event I remember was the final one in which a person would be given any number of chances as he/she may desire but the final trophy has to be taken by climbing on a pile of oval shaped stones which were quite slippery and out of balance. Only the daring ones attempted it. I saw myself standing at almost the top of the pile and stretching my arm to catch the trophy. I did curl my fingers around it but at that instant the stones lost balance and I fell on the slimy muddy water below, and wounded myself. I decided it wasn't worth another try. I was supposed to gracefully come down that pile with the trophy in my hand but I fell so I failed.
I traveled back by train and stayed at place of a fellow IIITian for few hours to clean up my wounds when suddenly I heard a doorbell ring. I went to attend it and saw my sister at the door. I was surprised. Actually my fellow IIITian's house and my house were in the New Offrs colony in Dhrangadhra cantonment area, my house being at the same place as it was and his being Gautam Shahi's house, my friend. So, I asked her to come in but she wanted me to come home as soon as possible and that I had promised I would come home. The wounds still hurt and I got frustrated, asked her to give me some space and some independence from her and others. She started sobbing and then started running back towards our home. I shouted after her that I didn't really mean whatever I had said, went after her and stopped her. We stood at the playground between the row of two sets of houses, my being on the other side of the playground. I said I loved her and loved them. I lit a cigarette and was joined by that fellow IIITian of mine, after he heard the commotion. After a few minutes my sister saw father coming out into the playground and she shrieked at me, I dropped my cigarette on the soil in the ground, didn't bother to extinguish it. She urged me
to come home, tried pulling me. I said to her that I'd be coming in a few minutes and that she should go first.
Next thing I remember my father was very sad that I had promised I would come home and I didn't. He didn't mention the cigarette thing but I knew that he saw me smoking a cigarette. He didn't look at me while talking. I felt so guilty about the cigarette thing that I didn't tell him about the fact that I had reached the final round in one of the newest and most exciting events in the world.
It happened so that she did punish few students for having food in her class, and she also walked up to my desk and asked me if I was having my lunch while bending a little to see if I was hiding anything inside my desk. I replied in negative. When the class was over she called me while I was walking out of the room and asked me which teacher I was working under. I said I was working under prof. P K Reddy. She ignored my reply and said that some of the faculty members were planning to send their students to some international level geeky+adventurous competition. We walked out of the class and she told me all about it, people from various parts of the world competing in almost all kinds of competition, be it mathematical problems, or adventure sports or social events/dances etc. I could see people of various nationalities dancing in a circle. I was flabbergasted about existence of such a competition yet quite interested. Before I could say anything, I was in the competition! :D
The only event I remember was the final one in which a person would be given any number of chances as he/she may desire but the final trophy has to be taken by climbing on a pile of oval shaped stones which were quite slippery and out of balance. Only the daring ones attempted it. I saw myself standing at almost the top of the pile and stretching my arm to catch the trophy. I did curl my fingers around it but at that instant the stones lost balance and I fell on the slimy muddy water below, and wounded myself. I decided it wasn't worth another try. I was supposed to gracefully come down that pile with the trophy in my hand but I fell so I failed.
I traveled back by train and stayed at place of a fellow IIITian for few hours to clean up my wounds when suddenly I heard a doorbell ring. I went to attend it and saw my sister at the door. I was surprised. Actually my fellow IIITian's house and my house were in the New Offrs colony in Dhrangadhra cantonment area, my house being at the same place as it was and his being Gautam Shahi's house, my friend. So, I asked her to come in but she wanted me to come home as soon as possible and that I had promised I would come home. The wounds still hurt and I got frustrated, asked her to give me some space and some independence from her and others. She started sobbing and then started running back towards our home. I shouted after her that I didn't really mean whatever I had said, went after her and stopped her. We stood at the playground between the row of two sets of houses, my being on the other side of the playground. I said I loved her and loved them. I lit a cigarette and was joined by that fellow IIITian of mine, after he heard the commotion. After a few minutes my sister saw father coming out into the playground and she shrieked at me, I dropped my cigarette on the soil in the ground, didn't bother to extinguish it. She urged me
to come home, tried pulling me. I said to her that I'd be coming in a few minutes and that she should go first.
Next thing I remember my father was very sad that I had promised I would come home and I didn't. He didn't mention the cigarette thing but I knew that he saw me smoking a cigarette. He didn't look at me while talking. I felt so guilty about the cigarette thing that I didn't tell him about the fact that I had reached the final round in one of the newest and most exciting events in the world.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
26thAugust2008LateMorning
After a series of exciting experiences, which I forgot when I woke up, I slept again in the hope of reviving or resuming those series of experiences. The scene took a different turn and I saw yet another weird and "different" kind of dream, something that has never happened to me in real life.
I saw myself, with my college mates going to some other place, as a team to attend a workshop and conduct some experiments as a part of that workshop. We took a bus to that place. The place looked like very old, with faded colored walls with dark patches, and dingy ambience inside the buildings. We wore special suits kind of thing, like what bomb disposal squad wears or those dealing with viruses or biological weapons! I saw myself and others sitting in the same row, with old looking desks and apparatus, with washing sinks in front of us. It reminded me of the chemistry lab of my school which looked quite like that lab we were sitting in.
After the trip, I felt like I desperately wanted this kind of work or project. But I didn't have good CGPA or experience to support my predicament. Nevertheless I approached the professor, and as expected he dismissed me because he expected some "better" students to take up such projects. I couldn't believe it because the professor believed in giving anyone a chance.
In my desperation, I fell for my friends' suggestion of fabricating a false identity that showed that I belonged to a family which was a part of some specific groups of families. The trick worked as the next day the professor called me himself and offered me the project. My friends' had changed my identity quite meticulously in each of my records with the college authorities.
A couple of days later, during late hours of evening, as I walked by the dean's office, I heard this, "I found this. He's son of an army officer, he's an army kid." and before I could think of my next move (I easily guessed they were talking about me.) the professor saw me, and his face showed anger and disappointment. I looked at the dean, and (OMG, what happened!) he looked different. He looked a little younger and had dense hair on his head. The dean wouldn't have delayed a judgment so long. The professor won't spare me for what I have done, so he possibly couldn't be preventing the dean from suspending me for a week and calling my parents. I had this feeling that he wasn't the real dean, but a fake duplicate. But why couldn't others see the change in his looks, and his behavior. He didn't show any signs or anger or frustration, but falsely made a concerned and angry face.
I was ridiculed by many in the college the next day. People stared at me and talked among themselves, wherever I went. But something else was disturbing me. I wanted to find out more about the changes in the dean. My friends had no idea about it and surprisingly didn't even observe any change in the dean. It was only after I told them about my observations that they agreed.
Next night, I managed to get myself into dean's office. I searched for any clue that might explain such a behavior. I found a few deadbodies inside the cushioned side row just outside his cabin, where people sat, waiting for their turn to meet him. The bodies didn't have disgusting odour but did feel like human body when I touched them. The faces were recognizable but not of anyone I had ever seen. It confirmed that the present dean wasn't the real dean. The real dean would have suspended me but this dean didn't bother and spared me. Is it that dean was in danger (or perhaps dead, which could be, with so many dead bodies supporting this claim!) and this pseudo dean has some other business here that he's least bothered about the college and isn't interfering much with the administration work.
Sitting there in the dark, in front of the opened side row, with dead bodies in front of me, I could hear his words ringing in my mind, "he's an army kid". I felt the energy and the fervor within. I realized that I had a big responsibility to shoulder and get things right. I must find the dean and the answer to why can't anyone else realize that the dean is missing and this dean is not real. Could it be that the day I missed college for the workshop, that same day he replaced the real dean and did something to everyone else?
I saw myself, with my college mates going to some other place, as a team to attend a workshop and conduct some experiments as a part of that workshop. We took a bus to that place. The place looked like very old, with faded colored walls with dark patches, and dingy ambience inside the buildings. We wore special suits kind of thing, like what bomb disposal squad wears or those dealing with viruses or biological weapons! I saw myself and others sitting in the same row, with old looking desks and apparatus, with washing sinks in front of us. It reminded me of the chemistry lab of my school which looked quite like that lab we were sitting in.
After the trip, I felt like I desperately wanted this kind of work or project. But I didn't have good CGPA or experience to support my predicament. Nevertheless I approached the professor, and as expected he dismissed me because he expected some "better" students to take up such projects. I couldn't believe it because the professor believed in giving anyone a chance.
In my desperation, I fell for my friends' suggestion of fabricating a false identity that showed that I belonged to a family which was a part of some specific groups of families. The trick worked as the next day the professor called me himself and offered me the project. My friends' had changed my identity quite meticulously in each of my records with the college authorities.
A couple of days later, during late hours of evening, as I walked by the dean's office, I heard this, "I found this. He's son of an army officer, he's an army kid." and before I could think of my next move (I easily guessed they were talking about me.) the professor saw me, and his face showed anger and disappointment. I looked at the dean, and (OMG, what happened!) he looked different. He looked a little younger and had dense hair on his head. The dean wouldn't have delayed a judgment so long. The professor won't spare me for what I have done, so he possibly couldn't be preventing the dean from suspending me for a week and calling my parents. I had this feeling that he wasn't the real dean, but a fake duplicate. But why couldn't others see the change in his looks, and his behavior. He didn't show any signs or anger or frustration, but falsely made a concerned and angry face.
I was ridiculed by many in the college the next day. People stared at me and talked among themselves, wherever I went. But something else was disturbing me. I wanted to find out more about the changes in the dean. My friends had no idea about it and surprisingly didn't even observe any change in the dean. It was only after I told them about my observations that they agreed.
Next night, I managed to get myself into dean's office. I searched for any clue that might explain such a behavior. I found a few deadbodies inside the cushioned side row just outside his cabin, where people sat, waiting for their turn to meet him. The bodies didn't have disgusting odour but did feel like human body when I touched them. The faces were recognizable but not of anyone I had ever seen. It confirmed that the present dean wasn't the real dean. The real dean would have suspended me but this dean didn't bother and spared me. Is it that dean was in danger (or perhaps dead, which could be, with so many dead bodies supporting this claim!) and this pseudo dean has some other business here that he's least bothered about the college and isn't interfering much with the administration work.
Sitting there in the dark, in front of the opened side row, with dead bodies in front of me, I could hear his words ringing in my mind, "he's an army kid". I felt the energy and the fervor within. I realized that I had a big responsibility to shoulder and get things right. I must find the dean and the answer to why can't anyone else realize that the dean is missing and this dean is not real. Could it be that the day I missed college for the workshop, that same day he replaced the real dean and did something to everyone else?
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
16thJuly2008EarlyMorning
I saw myself totally petrified at the idea of taking part in a speech olympiad kind of thing. I saw huge stadium with people from all over the world as audience as well as participants. It was an international event. I was one of the participants purely on the basis of my academic performance, is what I recall.
As I walked across my room, slowly keeping each foot after the other one, with soft sun-rays entering my room (illuminating the dust particles and keeping my room warm), I tried to build the speech in my mind on a random topic. The main point here was to keep on speaking on the topic without any long or lingering pause or pauses. I did that for a few topics in my mind till I couldn't control my anxiety any longer. For all I could recall, I had never spoken in front of any audience anything for a duration of five minutes. And now I was supposed to keep them engaged and interesed in my speech.
I asked my mother about the topic of my speech and she said she had given the slip of paper with the topic on it, to me a couple of hours ago. I started looking for the slip of paper and when I
found it, read the topic on the paper. It gave me cold feet.
My mother then suddenly came to my room and asked me for some medicines. She said they were for my father. I took out the medicine kit from the closet, looked for those medicines and gave them to her. Well, most of the medicines in that kit were for me! It was but evident that I couldn't take part in the speech olympiad because my parents had to leave as my father's
health had gone bad and he also had to get back to work in a couple of days. My mother urged me to take part and return home a couple of days later, but I refused. I felt slightly relieved for not speaking on the podium in front of such eminent people making the audience, but I also knew that it was a big opportunity lost.
I met her yet again, this time when I got back home after not attending speech olympiad. Meeting her made me forget all about the speech olympiad. She told me that she'd moved to this city but was visiting the city for the first time. She wanted me to drop her home. Her presence is something I can never deny.
As a third person, I saw her and me in a cab or an auto-rickshaw. Then as first person, I sat beside her and we talked. I slowly dozed off (What an idiot!). Perhaps a couple of minutes later, I was woken up by a sudden jolt in the movement of the cab. I realized that I had my head on her shoulders. I again closed my eyes. I felt drawn to her and for no reason, I kissed her cheek gently. She shook in a state of surprise. I pretended to be just awakened by my deep sleep and that I didn't know what happened and that whatever happened was while I was asleep. She only smiled. And I smiled too.
After reaching her place, she asked me if I was in contact with any of our common friends. I replied in affirmative and gave her the contact no. and e-mail ids of a few of them I was in touch with. She was really happy about that.
Later that day, when I went back to her apartment to do a favour by getting her something she had asked for, I found the door open. I entered the house. There was a laptop on a small round table in the center of drawing room. Stuffs were thrown on the furnitures. I saw the door of her bedroom ajar. I moved closer to a door and saw a guy lying on the bed with all clothes and shoes on. Who was this guy? I moved closer and saw her head on his belly and eating some ice cream candy, and both were talking. The guy was playing with her hair.
Of course she has a boyfriend... idiot me!
Perhaps the guy saw me, and following his line of sight, so did she. After a brief span of shock, she smiled and introduced me to him. She thanked me for all my help (of course I would have helped, and of course it doesn't make a difference!). Maybe she was too overwhelmed by all my "help" that she showed me a message she'd be sending to one of our common friends. She asked me for suggestions about the message. It had been a long time since she had not communicated with anyone of us. I said it was just the thing she should write, a part as apology, a part about all that had been going on in life, and about present state of life.
As I began to leave, I turned and looked at her again. She was still smiling and her face was still glowing, her eyes still shining. This was what had mesmerized me ten years ago. She had changed a lot, but she was still the person.
Alas, we are just friends, and even though I still feel the love for her, friendship is not love, isn't it!
I was glad to be back in college, in the Old Boy's Hostel among my friends for the final year. I saw Mridul grinning at me, the way he always does, for no reason whatsoever. I saw a heap of books wrapped in plastic. Akshay came from behind, saying something and ends his talk with a broad smile, in the process saving himself from tumbling over the heap of books. I asked him what he was saying and he said, "never mind, I'll explain later. First we must pick this heap of books and take it to my room." I couldn't interpret the words he said. I felt nostalgic about the fact that all my btech batchmates wouldn't be around after one year...
As I walked across my room, slowly keeping each foot after the other one, with soft sun-rays entering my room (illuminating the dust particles and keeping my room warm), I tried to build the speech in my mind on a random topic. The main point here was to keep on speaking on the topic without any long or lingering pause or pauses. I did that for a few topics in my mind till I couldn't control my anxiety any longer. For all I could recall, I had never spoken in front of any audience anything for a duration of five minutes. And now I was supposed to keep them engaged and interesed in my speech.
I asked my mother about the topic of my speech and she said she had given the slip of paper with the topic on it, to me a couple of hours ago. I started looking for the slip of paper and when I
found it, read the topic on the paper. It gave me cold feet.
My mother then suddenly came to my room and asked me for some medicines. She said they were for my father. I took out the medicine kit from the closet, looked for those medicines and gave them to her. Well, most of the medicines in that kit were for me! It was but evident that I couldn't take part in the speech olympiad because my parents had to leave as my father's
health had gone bad and he also had to get back to work in a couple of days. My mother urged me to take part and return home a couple of days later, but I refused. I felt slightly relieved for not speaking on the podium in front of such eminent people making the audience, but I also knew that it was a big opportunity lost.
I met her yet again, this time when I got back home after not attending speech olympiad. Meeting her made me forget all about the speech olympiad. She told me that she'd moved to this city but was visiting the city for the first time. She wanted me to drop her home. Her presence is something I can never deny.
As a third person, I saw her and me in a cab or an auto-rickshaw. Then as first person, I sat beside her and we talked. I slowly dozed off (What an idiot!). Perhaps a couple of minutes later, I was woken up by a sudden jolt in the movement of the cab. I realized that I had my head on her shoulders. I again closed my eyes. I felt drawn to her and for no reason, I kissed her cheek gently. She shook in a state of surprise. I pretended to be just awakened by my deep sleep and that I didn't know what happened and that whatever happened was while I was asleep. She only smiled. And I smiled too.
After reaching her place, she asked me if I was in contact with any of our common friends. I replied in affirmative and gave her the contact no. and e-mail ids of a few of them I was in touch with. She was really happy about that.
Later that day, when I went back to her apartment to do a favour by getting her something she had asked for, I found the door open. I entered the house. There was a laptop on a small round table in the center of drawing room. Stuffs were thrown on the furnitures. I saw the door of her bedroom ajar. I moved closer to a door and saw a guy lying on the bed with all clothes and shoes on. Who was this guy? I moved closer and saw her head on his belly and eating some ice cream candy, and both were talking. The guy was playing with her hair.
Of course she has a boyfriend... idiot me!
Perhaps the guy saw me, and following his line of sight, so did she. After a brief span of shock, she smiled and introduced me to him. She thanked me for all my help (of course I would have helped, and of course it doesn't make a difference!). Maybe she was too overwhelmed by all my "help" that she showed me a message she'd be sending to one of our common friends. She asked me for suggestions about the message. It had been a long time since she had not communicated with anyone of us. I said it was just the thing she should write, a part as apology, a part about all that had been going on in life, and about present state of life.
As I began to leave, I turned and looked at her again. She was still smiling and her face was still glowing, her eyes still shining. This was what had mesmerized me ten years ago. She had changed a lot, but she was still the person.
Alas, we are just friends, and even though I still feel the love for her, friendship is not love, isn't it!
I was glad to be back in college, in the Old Boy's Hostel among my friends for the final year. I saw Mridul grinning at me, the way he always does, for no reason whatsoever. I saw a heap of books wrapped in plastic. Akshay came from behind, saying something and ends his talk with a broad smile, in the process saving himself from tumbling over the heap of books. I asked him what he was saying and he said, "never mind, I'll explain later. First we must pick this heap of books and take it to my room." I couldn't interpret the words he said. I felt nostalgic about the fact that all my btech batchmates wouldn't be around after one year...
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